


In Other Words

by megsblackfire



Series: I Will Guard You [1]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Jack has asshole friends, Lots of pairings but those are the main two, M/M, Original characters used, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-18 08:10:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 39,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8155201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megsblackfire/pseuds/megsblackfire
Summary: Jack Morrison is a veteran of the Omnic Crisis struggling to keep himself together. The only light in his life is Reaper, the black barn owl he found starving in his attic shortly after he returned from war. Reaper will do anything to make Jack happy again, even if he is a big, dumb, wingless owl that needs better friends because his current ones suck.





	1. My Winged Death Machine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [W4nderingStar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/W4nderingStar/gifts).



> Hey, hey friend, remember how I said that it would take me at least two weeks to get this out? I LIED.
> 
> This is for W4anderingstar, the best, most terrible muse I can have to feed my raging Reaper76 brain. Honestly, they are the absolute best for putting up with all of my craziness. If you haven't gone and read their stuff already, DO IT. Honestly, you will not be disappointed.
> 
> There will be a lot of angst in this story. If you have issues seeing your favourite character be triggered into having a mental breakdown, this story is not for you.

Jack Morrison walked into his kitchen and was greeted by the sight of several dead voles lying on his counter. A normal person probably would have freaked out about dead rodents on their countertop that were not there the night before. Jack hadn’t been a “normal person” in a very long time. He sighed and picked each vole up by the tail and dropped them into a baggie before stuffing them in the freezer.

“Thank you, Reaper, but I don’t eat voles,” he said. “We’ve been over this how many times?”

The black, white, and red barn owl perched in the corner of the kitchen let out a soft hiss. Yes, yes, he was so very ungrateful for having such a wonderful hunter as his mate. How did he not starve to death by refusing to eat the gifts his wonderful winged death-machine brought him? How very inconsiderate of him after he spent all night hunting.

“All done playing for the night?” Jack asked as he scrubbed down the counter to make sure no germs were left from the corpses. Reaper let out a soft hiss. “Alright; don’t you hack pellets on the couch again. It took me two hours to clean the last mess up.”

He started making himself breakfast, whistling a soft, slow tune as Reaper fluffed his feathers and started preening himself. He had bacon frying in the pan when Reaper decided that his current perch was unsatisfactory and flew over to the one by Jack’s elbow. He reached up to run his beak through Jack’s graying hair, clicking his beak to get Jack to comply with his wishes. Jack tipped his head towards his beloved companion, letting the sharp beak preen him.

“Yes, how do I manage to get so unkempt while you are away?” Jack chuckled as Reaper preened him. “I must roll in the dirt just to make you clean me, don’t I? I am such a useless owl.”

Reaper nipped gently at the top of his ear and Jack gratefully ran his hand over the odd black feathers. He wasn’t sure if Reaper was a proper melanistic barn owl, but he was fairly certain he wasn’t. He’d never seen black barn owls quite like his Reaper with his band of red spots across his chest and peppered across his back. Still, he was Jack’s best friend and he was grateful every day the grumpy bird decided to return home after a night of hunting.

He could very easily stop coming home. It wouldn’t be that hard for such an intelligent owl to find a nice little nest somewhere and return to being wild. Hell, he half expected Reaper to return someday with a pretty lady-owl in tow. Then they could both hiss at him all day over what a silly, featherless owl he was.

“So, when are you going to bring me home a nice girl?” Jack teased as he turned the stove off. “Maybe I want chicks too, you selfish prick.”

Reaper hissed at him as Jack walked over to the sink to dump the bacon grease into a jar. Jack laughed; yes, yes, what did Reaper need a silly girl for when he had a mate already? Incompatible genitals be damned, Reaper loved his stupid wingless owl. He was stupid and useless but he was Reaper’s and no one else was allowed to touch him. He’d screech and claw them if they tried.

Jack quickly cleaned the pan before he cracked open two eggs and dropped them onto the sizzling surface. He whistled as he cracked another egg in a small dish for Reaper. He smiled as Reaper greedily started lapping it up after Jack placed it in the feeding tray beside the perch. He flipped his eggs carefully, managing to save the yolks, and went to put some bread in the toaster.

He sat down at the table with a hearty breakfast and started eating. Reaper flew over to another perch beside the table, clacking his beak before he started preening his wings. Jack ate in silence, reading the newspaper from the day before since he didn’t have a chance to do so earlier. There wasn’t anything interesting happening in the city, but it was nice to keep up with a world he often found he couldn’t integrate back into.

He’d spent several years in the army travelling the world. He believed them to be the best years of his life with a few quick moments of unbearable pain. He still limped some days when the pain in his leg got to be too much to muscle through, but it was a small price to pay. He was still alive and that was more than he could say for a lot of soldiers after the Omnic Crisis.

He did his best not to think about that war. It was a terrifying time in his life that, while he certainly didn’t regret, left their marks on him and anyone else caught in the crossfire. The States had managed to escape most of the bloodshed on home soil, but a lot of American soldiers died defending the innocent lives of human and omnic overseas. If he closed his eyes, sometimes he still saw the battlefields. Not always, though; Reaper helped keep the worst memories at bay.

He really needed to find some way to get Reaper registered as his personal anxiety owl. He knew a lot of soldiers that walked around with dogs at their sides wearing the special jackets that signaled they were stress-dogs. He knew of a few cats that rode in backpacks wearing the same sort of jacket. Hell, he’d even seen one young veteran clutching a rabbit to their chest as they shook from audial overstimulation. An owl really wasn’t that much of a stretch.

If only Reaper wasn’t such an unfriendly bastard that screeched at everyone that tried to get near Jack. He was pretty sure stress-dogs weren’t allowed to growl; good luck telling a cat not to hiss. He certainly thought it was funny when Reaper fluffed himself up and screeched at people that approached without warning, but he knew that it really wasn’t appropriate. Funny, but not appropriate.

He mopped up the last of his egg yolk with the final corner of his toast just as Reaper’s head snapped around. He hissed loudly at the door a few seconds before someone knocked. Jack tutted him, offering his knuckle for his friend to nip at before he went to answer the door. He did his best to smile at the couple standing on his doorstep, ushering them in as Reaper let out a long screech of dislike at the people entering their nest.

He agreed, Reaper; fuck these two people in particular. Kindly aim your pellets at them. Jack knows you can do it, his little death-machine; he’s seen you hack them with amazing accuracy onto everything he loved.

“That bird is going to kill you one day,” Blaire shivered as she eyed Reaper nervously.

“Maybe peck my eyes out,” Jack shrugged. “I was just finishing breakfast. What did you need?”

He knew what they wanted; it was the same every Friday. They’d beg him to go to some new club with them and the rest of the “old gang” and get drunk and enjoy themselves. They didn’t seem to understand that Jack didn’t like the noise and the closeness after he got back from serving in Indonesia. The proper term was Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder; Jack called it “The Living Hell”. He mostly called it that because his friends were a bunch of inconsiderate jackasses that wanted flashing lights and noise regardless of how sick it made him feel.

Maybe if they had flashbacks where they were scrambling through mud and blood to get away from sweeping red lasers they would be more considerate. But, somehow, he doubted that. It would probably just make them even whinier, claiming that the world wasn’t doing enough to keep them safe. Forget the fact that it wasn’t the world’s job to fall at their feet; that was just how they were.

He needed new friends, but he was almost forty years old. New friends didn’t just spring up out of the ground when you had an aversion for mingling with others. He remembered fondly that once he would have happily gone to these bars and had a blast with everyone there. Now, he just wanted to curl up on his couch and watch television with Reaper sleeping on his hip.

“There’s this club on the other side of town called ‘Strobe’,” Greg grinned. “Everyone at work’s been talking about it. Supposed to be really clean with the best vodka you’ve ever tasted.”

“And the bass is supposed to be amazing,” Blaire added as she sat down at the table, eyeing Reaper nervously as he lowered his head menacingly. “You have to come, Jack!”

“I don’t like bass,” Jack mumbled as he picked his dirty plate up. He clicked his tongue at Reaper, smiling as his companion eagerly flew over to the perch by the sink.

Jack had rebuilt his entire house to accommodate Reaper’s need for flight. He had knocked out a good number of walls and changed the cramped little A-frame into an open-concept perfect for an owl to perch wherever he wanted and feel safe and secure. His friends bitched that he put more effort into his owl than he did anything else but Jack didn’t care. Reaper was the only good thing he had in his life right now since he left his family on the farm back in Indiana. He was going to take the absolute best care of his feathered companion and the rest of them could go straight to Hell.

“You don’t like any music,” Greg rolled his eyes. “When was that last time you even strummed a guitar?”

Jack did his best not to flinch. The answer was four years ago when he got back from Indonesia. He’d picked the guitar up that had been left in his care, strummed one chord, thought of his dead comrade-in-arms, lover, and soulmate, and could never play another note. Just thinking about Gabriel made his throat close up and his eyes water.

Reaper hopped off of his perch and pushed himself into Jack’s chest, pulling insistently at the collar of his shirt. Jack ran his hand over Reaper’s head, smiling down into those huge black eyes. Reaper fluffed his wings up and tried to preen Jack’s chest, clicking his beak loudly. Jack’s throat opened up and he was able to take a deep breathe. Reaper always helped; what a good friend.

“You know why I don’t play the guitar anymore, Greg,” Jack said. “I’ll go with you tonight, but don’t think I’m doing it for any reason other than amusing my friends.”

“Awesome,” Greg grinned. “Come on, owl-man; let’s go get your party clothes out.”

Blaire clapped her hands while Jack rolled his eyes. He didn’t HAVE party clothes. He hated parties. There were always too much noise, too many people, and just too much of everything. He’d much rather stay at home and have a few beers while watching television or reading a book while Reaper flew circles over his head in preparation to go out hunting. That was peaceful after a day of stress that no amount of pills could help him control.

Still, better to amuse his friends so they left him alone tomorrow. Tomorrow he could decompress with Reaper, maybe take him out to the outskirts of town and let him fly around for a few hours. Until then, he had to endure his asshole friends.

He led the way up to his room, smirking as Reaper flew first to the railing and then into the intricate cat-tree in his room. He clacked his beak angrily at Greg when he tried to pet him, hissing and fluffing himself up to look bigger. It was so nice to know that his bird was just as annoyed with his friends as he was.

_‘In other words, I love you.’_

* * *

 

Gabriel hopped up to the window as dusk settled over the world. He clacked his beak at Jack, waiting for his love to open the window so he could go hunt and keep track of him. The special bands around his legs would identify him to anyone in the city that he was a “tamed” owl and employed to help keep the rodent population under control, as well as the occasional pigeon when he could catch the stupid things.

He was not a lazy owl, the damn things were just smart. Amazing, he knows, but the damn things had learned from infancy how to use the city skyline to their advantage. He had not and windows were absolutely terrifying when you were flying at high speeds.

“Jack, hurry up,” Blaire whined as Jack walked over to the window.

“Five minutes,” Jack grumbled as he ran his hand over Gabriel’s head. “You have a better night than me, Reaper,” he crooned. “Try not to eat anyone’s cat.”

Gabriel nipped at the offered knuckle gently, wishing he could tell Jack that he loved him and that he was always there for him. He fluffed his feathers in the adorable way that Jack liked, happy that he could make him smile with the prospect of a night out with his asshole friends looming over him. He was so beautiful when he smiled and he wished Jack smiled more. Jack opened the window and Gabriel flew out, catching an updraft and soaring high above the house.

_‘Fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars.’_

Up here, he could forget the explosion in Indonesia. He could forget the screams of the dying and the stench of death and decay. He could pretend that the war had happened to another person named Gabriel Reyes and not to him. Up in the sky, flying by moonlight, he was just Reaper, the not-so-friendly mice-hunter extraordinaire.

He was death on two wings, twisting around to catch a bat midflight and wolf it down after his talons had shredded it to pieces. He still found the feeling of fur sliding down his throat unpleasant, but that was how an owl ate and he was an owl so he had to suck it up. That was how an owl do so he must do as the owl do. He had to get Jack to stop watching those really old videos, God damn. He landed on a lamppost and looked around, taking in his impressive territory with primal satisfaction.

He was the strongest owl in the suburb. None of the others dared to challenge him. He was Reaper, the black barn owl that struck fear into the hearts of so many unsuspecting nightcrawlers. He could swoop down without a moment’s notice and snatch a mouse out of the grass, startling whoever was walking nearby. It was so much fun, especially when he screeched at them and they fled screaming about demons.

Sadistic? No, whatever made you think that? He was totally sane.

He took a deep breath, let himself enjoy the freedom for one more moment, before he returned to being Gabriel Reyes. He had a job to do, a job that Jack’s idiot friends did not make easy. This was his purpose now, one that made him feel a thousand times better than anything he had done as a human. There was something incredibly fulfilling about being a guardian to the man he loved, even if he could never just sit Jack down and tell him how much he loved him.

Dropping voles on the countertop only conveyed so much. Yes, he knows that you can’t eat them Jack, but it’s the best he can do, alright? It’s not like he can carry a bouquet of roses home; how would he even pay for that? “Here, fine store owner, I will give you a nice juicy rat for the largest long-stemmed roses you have. No, no, please stop yelling. I only wish for flowers, not your soul.” Damn it, Jack, your humor was brushing off on him!

He watched Greg’s headlights go by underneath his lamppost and took wing. He trailed behind the car just outside the reach of the streetlights. He was a ghost behind them, easily keeping up as they wove through the city. The car might have been able to go forty miles within city limits, but they had to stop constantly because of traffic lights; flying granted Reaper much more freedom to move.

He didn’t understand why Jack was still friends with these people. They had no respect for him and openly mocked him while he was having an episode. They did not try to comfort him, claiming that they were giving him ‘tough love’ when all they were really doing was trying to find excuses for their terrible attitudes. He wasn’t playing up his condition; you didn’t get mad at someone with Irritable Bowel Syndrome for running to the washroom when they accidentally ate something they shouldn’t have. Why whine about someone with diagnosed PTSD having an episode? Because they were jackasses, that’s why.

Gabriel had always been crass in life. He would push and prod at people, loving the reactions they gave. It was a game to him, a game to see how long it took to make someone snap and act in a way that most people never got to see. However, he knew better than to toy with people’s phobias or to push someone to the point of having a nervous breakdown on the spot. He didn’t throw fake spiders at people that couldn’t even breathe when they were around an arachnid and he didn’t run through a PTSD-treatment center clanging pots and pans together while screaming that the end was nigh. He was an asshole and he had better manners than ALL of Jack’s so-called friends.

He hated them. Each and everyone one of the stuck-up bastards. Blaire was the worst because she thought the world owed her something. He didn’t know half of her story, but even if he did think that it was unfair for her mom to run off when she was six, that didn’t give her the right to bully others into doing what she wanted. Playing victim only got you so far before you had to take responsibility for your shitty attitude.

Greg was just as entitled, whining about his job even though the man was the reason his co-workers didn’t like working with him. The man constantly ratted everything out to his supervisor then claimed total innocence of the whole incident. He’d gotten someone fired because they had the audacity to tell him his idea was not the best one available to them.

Amy found fault with everything. “Oh, you think my hair looks nice today? So you’re saying it didn’t look good yesterday. What, you think I’m pretty? Why don’t you think I’m beautiful? Is it because I’m Black?” Yes, she used that excuse whenever she could and Gabriel wanted to claw her damn eyes out for it.

And then there was spineless Trevor who just smiled and went along with everyone else. He was quick to run to Blaire if anyone in their little group showed any sign of stepping “out of line”. The line being to follow whatever Blaire and Greg said to anyone else that got roped into their stupidity. Trevor was quick to sidle up to Blaire and play kiss-ass as long as it kept him safe.

Gabriel hated them all. They were poison to Jack, tearing him down each time he tried to get a solid foundation forming beneath him. He didn’t want the love of his life to only have him. He wanted to see Jack smile and laugh again without Gabriel needing to be the focus of his attention. He wanted Jack to randomly call up a friend and start talking about his day. He wanted people to walk through the door and talk all day with Jack at the table. He wanted Jack to be happy.

He landed on the roof of the nightclub and winced at the loud bass he could hear coming from within. The vibrations were running up his talons and making his gizzard clench painfully. He fluffed his feathers miserably against the noise, feeling his eardrums vibrate painfully in time with whatever the Hell was being passed off as music inside. Blaire and Greg should never have dragged Jack out here; they should have been more sensitive to the fact that Jack still went into cold-sweats whenever he was around loud noises.

He hissed angrily and watched his graying companion shuffle after his friends. He looked like a lost child in his jeans and florescent orange shirt. It was the only one that Blaire had found that she claimed was “suitable” for a club; as if a nice white button down wasn’t suitable to go get drinks in. He wished he could have walked in with Jack, kept a hand on his waist so he never felt like he was alone with the noise and his racing thoughts.

“I’m sorry,” he wanted to whisper. “I’m sorry, Jack.”

All that left his mouth was a soft trill and he buried his head under his wing.

_‘Fill my heart with song and let me sing forever more.’_


	2. The Den of the Blue Dragon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is a trigger episode in this chapter. If someone experiencing a horrific flashback makes you uncomfortable, skip down to the eighth paragraph.

Jack’s eardrums pounded in time with the bass and he ducked his head against the bar. He covered his ears, struggling to keep his eardrums from erupting as the DJ insisted on cranking the volume up to a painfully high decibel. He didn’t know how anyone could stand it; how did they not all have permanent hearing loss? How could they even make out anything other than the pounding bass? Was this electronica or were there words somewhere in the mess that his ears were too abused to find?

Greg and Blaire had ditched him the instant they realized that he wasn’t going to go dance with them. They were up on the dancefloor somewhere grinding their late-thirty asses against each other’s pelvis like they were horny eighteen-year-olds. Trevor was playing lost puppy-dog with Amy who was only letting him stay close because all the pretty women came over to see if he was okay. He thought he saw Samantha when he walked in, but she was probably off playing tonsil-hockey with the first man that gave her bedroom eyes.

He didn’t really care that they were off enjoying themselves. It just meant that he was alone to deal with his rising heartrate and shallow breathing. He could leave at any time; it would just take for-fucking-ever to get back home on foot. He figured that was Greg’s real reason for dragging him out here; they’d taken Greg’s car so that he was forced to stay with them if he wanted to get home at a decent time.

The second shot of tequila he knocked back as the song changed burned all the way down. He shook his head, coughing at the sting that raced down his chest. It was doing nothing to lower his anxiety. If anything, it was only making him more aware of the booming bass and the press of people all around him.

He closed his eyes and gripped the bar tightly. He tried to focus on anything but the bass, but it overwhelmed him. The bass became the rapid-fire blasts of a plasma rifle, the kickback burning into his arms and chest. The electric stings were missiles soaring through the air towards him. The dancing and screaming crowds became blood-curdling as human and omnic alike tried to flee from the advancing armies.

Bile rose in Jack’s throat and he stumbled away from the bar. He wasn’t in a club anymore; he was tripping over the uneven terrain of a coastal jungle. He ran as fast as he could, shoving his way past bodies that were as unmoving as trees. He slammed his shoulder against the back door of the club that led out into the alley and stumbling into the night.

He threw up behind a dumpster, retching and spewing his stomach contents all over the disgusting pavement. He braced himself against the slick side of the dumpster, trying to hold himself up as the world spun violently around him. He sucked in air, but it felt like there was something blocking his lungs. He couldn’t breathe; he was choking and he couldn’t breathe! Oh fuck; where was his gasmask? He didn’t want to choke on his own blood as the lining of his lungs disintegrated!

Something landed beside him and he heard angry clicking before something jabbed into the back of his hand. He yelped in surprise, spinning around to blink dumbly at Reaper. The owl glared back at him, hissing loudly as he fluffed his wings up. Jack stared at the furious white face as the sound of battle died away around him. He was in the alley fully, his ears picking up the muffled thump of the bass behind him and the soft night noises around him. He took a deep breath of garbage-scented air before a soft laugh escaped him.

“Did you follow me here, Reaper?” he asked as he lifted his hand to pet his companion. “You silly thing; you were supposed to go have a good night, not chase me around.”

Reaper hissed and hopped close, grabbing Jack’s shirt and pulling it angrily. Jack laughed and stroked over Reaper’s speckled belly feathers.

“Yes, I know it’s a horrid shirt, but it’s all I had to wear,” he teased. “We can’t all look stunning in black, Reaper. Some of us have to make do with the rest of the rainbow.”

Reaper fluffed his feathers before hopping off of the dumpster and flying a short distance to a pile of crates. He let out a long screech and Jack stuck his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

“Oh, you know a better place for me to be?” he teased. “Well, lead on, fearless hunter.”

Reaper hissed again before flying out of the alley. Jack followed him, smiling as his companion circled overhead until he was certain that Jack was following. He led the way down the street away from the club, doubling back constantly to make sure Jack was following. Jack’s ears were starting to recover, although he suspected that he would hear ringing for the next few days. He crossed a street, watching Reaper land on a lamppost.

“Where are you taking me?” he teased. “It almost feels like a date, my fearless hunter.”

He heard Reaper hiss before he took flight again, zipping down to cuff the back of Jack’s head with his wing as he passed. His talons shot out as he dove and Jack heard a soft squeak as Reaper landed perfectly on top of a rat. Reaper gave the rodent three sharp pecks to the back of the head before flying up to a bench to enjoy his kill.

Jack shook his head in amusement as he watched Reaper try to eat the rat whole. It was the funniest thing to watch an owl do and he always got a kick out of it. Small prey was easy to scarf down, but the larger corpses took several long minutes to maneuver to the back of the throat and swallow. Reaper was having a rough time of it, struggling to get the large meal down his gullet and having to constantly stop and take a breather. Finally, the bald tail vanished from sight and Reaper shook his feathers out.

“Taste good?” Jack asked as he trailed his hand over Reaper’s head.

Reaper clacked his beak and nipped at Jack’s finger. Jack smiled, holding his finger still as Reaper’s sharp beak moved gently over his knuckle. He pushed his head into Jack’s palm, clacking his beak and demanding attention. Jack happily gave his companion the attention he desired, humming softly as he scratched along Reaper’s domed head.

_‘Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars.’_

Momentarily satisfied with his level of attention, Reaper turned and hopped off the bench, taking flight again. Jack continued along the quiet street, whistling softly as Reaper flew on ahead. He landed on another lamppost on the other side of the street and Jack waited for the crosswalk to change colours. There might not have been anyone around, but like hell he was getting hit by a speeding vehicle that didn’t see him until the last minute. Reaper watched him from just beyond the glow of the lamppost and Jack could almost understand why some ancient cultures thought owls were omens of death.

With his white face and black eyes, Reaper looked like a ghost come to tear his soul from his body. As terrifying as he was, he was also beautiful with his odd colouration and sassy disposition. Jack didn’t know what he would do without his companion. Certainly not survive his asshole friends and the bouts of flashbacks they triggered almost intentionally.

The crosswalk light turned green and he walked across the street to where Reaper was waiting. They continued down the street, Reaper a ghost at Jack’s side. Reaper fluttered ahead and landed on a fencepost outside of a little bar with a beautifully painted sign that read “The Blue Dragon”.

“Asian establish?” Jack asked out loud.

Reaper clacked his beak and Jack wandered up to the door. He pushed it open, not really sure what to expect. He was a little shocked to see a vaguely Japanese themed backdrop against what was clearly a bar inspired by something out of an old Western. There were tables scattered around the large interior surrounded by comfortable looking chairs that showed great age and lots of use. There weren’t a lot of people inside, just enough to create a pleasant babble of voices. Soft music filtered through speakers set up along the ceiling, filling the bar with a pleasant welcoming aura.

Which was shattered immediately by Reaper flying through the door behind Jack and heading straight for the bartender.

“Reaper, no!” Jack yelped as he hurried after his owl. “I am so sorry! I didn’t think he was going to follow me!”

The bartender stared at the owl that landed heavily on the bar in front of him. The man’s brown eyes were as wide as saucers and his bushy brown eyebrows seemed to have merged with his equally shaggy brown hair. One metal prosthetic hand tapped nervously at the glass the man had been cleaning as Reaper let out a low hiss.

“Well, can’t say that’s happened too often,” the bartender said with a thick Southern drawl. “This bird yours, pardner?”

“Yes, sorry,” Jack said as he tried to pick Reaper up around the belly. “Reaper, please be good. I don’t have my glove. Ow, don’t bite!”

He pulled his hands away quickly as Reaper turned and hopped along the bar. He took flight with a screech and headed up towards the rafters, perching like his namesake and glaring down at Jack.

“I’m so sorry,” Jack repeated. “I’ll just collect him and leave.”

“Well, so long as he doesn’t shit all over the tables, I don’t have an issue with him,” the man grinned. “I have my dogs in here most days, so one little owl isn’t really that much to deal with. What can I get you?”

Jack smiled nervously as he sat down on a stool. He hadn’t expected the man to be so understanding. He’d expected shouting and demands to know why he had an owl following him instead of on a leash or something. This was a pleasant surprise that actually soothed his nerves rather than fry them.

“Just a beer for now, thank you,” he said.

“Got a preference?” the man asked as he set his glass and dish towel down.

 “Tall, dark, and dangerous,” Jack joked. “Preferably Latino,”

The man let out a sharp bark of laughter as he poured a mug full of pale beer out of a tap. “That was fast! I like you,” he announced as he put the beer on the table. “Wish more of my customers had a wit like that.”

“I’m already two tequila shots in; who knows what else is going to come out of my mouth,” Jack joked as he sipped the beer.

It was nice and cold and went down smooth. The aftertaste was a little bitter, but it was better than anything he’d had with his friends in a long while. They were all about hard liquor shots in rapid succession and he liked to enjoy what he was drinking when he wasn’t fighting off an episode.

“Bar hopping, huh?” the man asked as he leaned on the bar.

“No; more like trying to escape a club that was…not helping my anxiety,” Jack admitted with a sigh.

“Ah, that posh ‘Strobe’ or whatever the hell it’s called,” the man snorted, jerking his head in the direction of the club. “Fucking hate the pricks that run it. No respect for anyone else that’s got a bar in the vicinity. Sent some of their bruisers down this way to try to scare off the competition. Didn’t reckon they were dealing with a deadshot like me.”

The man grinned wickedly and mimed shooting someone with his fingers. Jack shook his head in amusement. Why didn’t it surprise him that the Southerner liked his guns?

“Didn’t know the club business was so cut-throat,” he mused.

“You’d be surprised how often I get fuckers coming in here trying to get me to sell the place,” the man snorted. “This is prime bar location and everyone with a working brain in the business wants in on this location. I have to tell people to fuck off constantly, but they just keep on comin’.”

“Jesse! I need a few daiquiris for the ladies in the corner,” a brown-haired woman shouted as she zipped over to the bar. “Two strawberries and a mango.”

“Sure thing,” Jesse smirked as he went about making the drinks.

The woman glanced at Jack curiously before she eyed Reaper in the rafters. “Uh, is that thing friendly?” she asked.

“No,” Jack admitted. “Not unless you’re about ten-years-old and are offering him a dead mouse.”

“Fresh out of mice, I’m afraid,” she giggled. “Lena Oxton,” she extended her hand.

“Jack Morrison,” Jack smiled as he shook her hand. “The grump,” he jerked a thumb at Reaper, “is Reaper.”

Reaper hissed softly from the rafters. And don’t you forget it for a moment that he was grumpy, Jack! You are the only one worthy of his tenderness! And even then, there were days where he just wanted to peck your ears until you stopped being stupid.

“Lovely name,” Lena laughed before she picked up the tray of drinks. “Enjoy your beer, Jack!”

“Why Reaper?” Jesse asked as he settled back on the bar.

“I…wanted to honour a fallen comrade,” Jack said softly.

Jesse’s eyes widened. “You a veteran?” he asked. When Jack nodded, he rubbed his shaggy beard. “You mind me asking where you served?”

“Germany,” Jack said softly. “Then Indonesia.”

Jesse let out a low whistle. “Well, ain’t that just grand?” he said softly. “You let me know if anything starts to bother you, okay? Don’t want to stress a serviceman out. Y’all went above and beyond to put those tin cans down. Least I can do is help ya return to normal life.”

“I’m fine,” Jack smiled and waved a hand to encompass all of the bar. “This is just what I needed. It’s calm, it’s quiet, the music isn’t trying to make my ears bleed; it’s nice.”

“Well, I’ll make sure to tell the boss that you approve of his interior decorating skills,” Jesse grinned. “Hanzo’ll just be tickled pink.”

Reaper dropped down onto the bar and nipped at Jack’s knuckle. “What?” Jack clucked his tongue as he ran the abused knuckle over Reaper’s head. “I don’t suppose you have eggs in the back room?”

“I could get one or two,” Jesse frowned. “Why?”

“He likes to eat them out of a dish,” Jack smiled as he nodded towards Reaper. “Might make him calm down a little and stop being so pissy.”

Another hiss for his comment. You loved him, Jack, in all his moody glory.

“Ah, the way to the beast’s heart is through his stomach,” Jesse grinned. “I’ll be right back.”

Jack sipped his beer as Reaper shuffled closer to preen his graying hair. He clucked his tongue gently at his companion, smiling as Reaper pushed his head under Jack’s chin and let out a soft croak. Jesse returned with a small dish of beaten eggs and set it out for Reaper.

“There you go, sunshine; on the house,” Jesse grinned.

Reaper hissed at Jesse, but accepted the eggs. He lapped them up greedily, fluffing his feathers up and mantling his wings. Jack clucked his tongue and reached over to correct the behaviour immediately.

“None of that,” he scolded. “No one is going to steal your eggs.”

“What was that?” Jesse asked as he nodded towards Reaper.

“Mantling,” Jack shook his head. “It’s usually only done when they’re trying to hide prey from other predators, but it’s also a nervous habit among captive birds. Not a habit I want him to keep up.”

“Neat,” Jesse grinned. “Don’t worry, Reaper; there’s more eggs where that came from.”

Reaper lifted his head, yolk dripping off of his beak. He hissed menacingly and snapped his beak at Jesse before returning to his “drink.” Stay away, scruffy human; this was his drink. Go get your own.

“Yah, yer pretty too,” Jesse laughed.

Jack spent the rest of the night talking with Jesse Shimada-McCree. He was a fascinating man, all smiles and laughter, but there was a softness to his heart that Jack appreciated. He was quick to change the subject if he noticed that Jack’s mood turned even the slightest bit dark, cracking jokes to lighten the atmosphere as he made drinks for the patrons that moved in and out of the bar.

Reaper even warmed up to him enough to let him run a knuckle gently over his belly. Lena almost got bit when she zipped up expectantly, but she was good about it, apologizing to Reaper for startling him. It earned her the right to scratch between his wings without him hissing, but he did glare judgingly at her. How dare you make him ruffle his feathers, woman. How dare you.

As 1 AM rolled around, Jesse started shooing customers out of the bar, leaving Jack and Reaper up at the front. A man wearing an expensive looking gray suit strolled in just before the doors closed and Jesse immediately hurried over to cover his face in kisses. Jack did his best not to let the yawning chasm in his heart show on his face as he watched the happy couple.

_‘In other words, darling kiss me.’_

Hanzo Shimada-McCree looked to be around Jack’s age, his long black hair already splashed with gray around his temples. He had a regal look to him that seemed to clash with Jesse’s wild appearance, but the hard brown eyes showed nothing but love for the Southerner. As they pulled apart, Hanzo’s brown eyes turned to regard Jack.

A spark of surprise flashed in the dark depths before he moved forward slowly. He murmured something in a language Jack didn’t recognize, holding his hand out towards Reaper.

“Hanzo, wait!” Jesse yelped. “That fucker bites!”

Jack stared as Reaper stayed perfectly still and let Hanzo stroke over the feathers of his head. They seemed to share a moment of understanding before Reaper shifted closer to Jack and started preening his hair.

“You have a very special bond,” Hanzo said softly. “It is a privilege to see it.”

“Reaper’s something special,” Jack agreed as he stroked over Reaper’s belly. “Don’t know where I’d be without him.” He let out a long sigh and got to his feet. “We should get going; it’s a long walk home.”

“I could give you a ride!” Lena chirped as she zipped over, pulling her apron off and tossing it to Jesse.

“I don’t want to impose,” Jack shook his head.

Lena grinned at him and shook her head. “No trouble at all, love; anything for the person that brought such a wonderful conversation piece in with him,” she laughed. “Come on; my car’s around back.”

Jack held out his hand and Reaper carefully climbed up onto his arm. His talons dug slightly into the bare flesh of his forearm, but he kept his balance carefully so that he didn’t dig his talons in deep enough to draw blood. Jack followed Lena out the back, smiling at the little orange smartcar that Lena zipped over to.

“What?” she asked with a big grin.

“Nothing,” Jack said as he opened the passenger door. “It suits you.”

She laughed as she started the vehicle. Jack placed Reaper on his lap and his companion settled down contently between his thighs. Surprisingly, Lena didn’t drive like a maniac for all the running around she did. She kept to the speedlimit with only a few grumbles about ‘old lady drivers’ when someone forced her to slow down. They arrived at his house in one piece and Jack climbed out of the car.

“Have a good sleep,” Lena called. “Hope to see you again, Jack!”

“You too, Lena,” Jack chuckled as Reaper flew towards the house.

He walked up the driveway to the house, whistling softly as he unlocked the door. Reaper flew in and landed on his favourite perch in the living room, his head lowered to watch Jack curiously. Jack didn’t bother turning the lights on as he locked the door behind him and kicked off his shoes.

“That was actually a very enjoyable evening,” Jack chuckled as he pulled his shirt off over his head. “Thank you, Reaper. How often have you seen that bar in your travels?”

Reaper clacked his beak before flying up to the second floor. Jack chuckled and followed him up to his room. He stripped out of his clothing and pulled on a pair of flannel pajama pants. He heard Reaper settle down in his nest as Jack climbed into bed and smiled.

“You rest well, Reaper,” he called.

He heard a soft trill from the darkness and settled down, content in the knowledge that Reaper was watching his back.

_‘In other words, I love you.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, if you've never seen videos of owls trying to eat large meal items, go do it. It's hilarious.
> 
> Huge thank you for the amount of support and sweet comments I have gotten for this fic. I'm so glad everyone has enjoyed it. Strap in for the long haul, folks, because things are only going to get more angsty but heartfelt from here.


	3. A Day In The Park

Gabriel angrily tugged on the vole in Jack’s hand, trying to convince his love to let go of the damn thing. Jack seemed to think that making him work for his meal was good for him and he was sure that was a good idea for a real owl, but it was only annoying him. He hissed angrily and reached out to peck at Jack’s hand.

“Don’t do that,” Jack scolded as he let the vole go.

Gabriel huffed and eagerly scarfed the vole down. Jack could bitch about everything later; he had breakfast to eat. He fluffed his feathers as the last of the vole settled in his gizzard and looked at Jack expectantly. Pets, you featherless fiend, give him pets!

Jack’s fingers moved softly over his head, scratching down the length of his spine towards his tail. Gabriel happily fluffed himself up, watching Jack the whole time. When was the last time he’d seen a smile that soft on his love’s face? That bar and those people were just what Jack needed. He didn’t need Blaire or Greg or any of those other self-important people; he needed Jesse’s easy laugh and Lena’s big smile.

He nipped gently at Jack’s finger before he flew off to his favourite perch. He preened himself, watching Jack putter around the kitchen. The Saturday morning was beautiful, even if Gabriel did just want to tuck his head under his wing and fall asleep. He wasn’t supposed to be up during the day, but he would be if Jack needed him.

A knock on the door had him fluffing up. If that was Blaire or Greg, he was going to attack them, consequences be damned. They did not get to show up on a Saturday to bitch at his love! Jack walked over to the door and opened it.

“Oh, hello, Lena,” Jack said.

“Hi Jack! I was wondering if you wanted to have a lunch date with the gang,” Lena’s voice chimed. “Lúcio mentioned that he worked with you and Reaper and everyone wanted to meet him.”

Gabriel let out a soft hiss as he flew over to the perch by the door. He blinked down at Lena, cocking his head to the side as she grinned up at him.

“Oh! Speak of the devil,” she giggled. “Hello, Reaper. Are you feeling better today?”

Gabriel clacked his beak at her and ruffled his feathers. He was feeling just fine last night, thank you. He was just moody because it made Jack laugh. Jack was chewing on his lip, clearly thinking the offer over.

“Who…is all going to be there?” he asked carefully.

“Well, there’s me, Lúcio, and Hana for sure; Genji might show up if Hanzo doesn’t have him playing go-for all afternoon; and maybe, possibly Angela and Fareeha. So maybe seven. Eight max,” Lena said as she ticked off her fingers.

Jack reached up to run his hand through his hair. Gabriel shifted closer, gently clacking his beak at his love. Please, Jack, go and mingle with people that are not assholes. You know Lúcio and you know Lena; they will know how to keep you sane. Jack let out a long sigh and smiled.

“Let me get some proper clothes on and get Reaper’s gear set up,” he said as he opened the door further. “Come on in and have a seat at the table. Reaper’ll keep you company. He shouldn’t bite if you’re really careful and slow.”

Lena trotted in excitedly and her mouth fell open in shock. “Whoa,” she stared around and spun in place. “It’s so open!”

“Perfect for Reaper to fly where he wants,” Jack smiled as he headed up the stairs. “I’ll be five minutes.”

Gabriel landed on the perch by the table and preened his chest feathers. Lena sat down and seemed to sway on the spot, a huge grin on her freckled face as she looked around. She eyed him a few times before carefully lifting her hand.

“Hey, can I pet you?” she asked.

Gabriel clacked his beak and lowered his head to her fingers, bumping them gently before pulling away. She seemed to understand that was all he was willing to accept at the moment and lowered her hand. Her grin seemed to get bigger at the simple contact. He wished he had hands to ruffle her hair. She was so upbeat and happy that even he was starting to be affected. God, he hoped that Jack kept her around; how could he think about anything sad with such a ray of sunshine in his life?

Jack came back down the stairs with a pair of worn jeans on and buttoning up the last button on his blue shirt. He rolled the sleeves up to his elbows and started collecting Gabriel’s travel gear. Gabriel clacked his beak and ruffled his feathers; he wasn’t overly fond of the leash, but he knew that Jack had to have it on hand if he was bringing him out for demonstrations. There were rules and regulations he had to follow if he wanted to keep his presenter’s license.

“Are we walking or driving?” Jack asked as he got some of Gabriel’s treats out of the fridge.

“Walking,” Lena smiled. “There’s a little park not far from here that’s really nice to have lunch at.”

“Hmm,” Jack mused as he glanced at Gabriel. “Looks like you’re stuck on a leash, Reaper.”

Gabriel hissed unhappily at the idea and fluffed himself up. He didn’t want to be on a leash, but yah, if they were going to a park it was a good idea. Didn’t need an owl accidentally attacking someone’s Chihuahua. Not that he would, but it was the principle of the matter.

Jack grabbed his glove and pulled it on as he attached the leash to Gabriel’s leg and hoisted him onto his arm. Gabriel readjusted himself to sit comfortably on the arm, glancing at Jack expectantly. He received a gentle scratch to the head and opened his mouth happily.

“He’s so sweet,” Lena crooned as she got to her feet. “Hana is going to love him.”

“Most people do,” Jack chuckled as he offered a “pinkie” to Gabriel.

Gabriel eagerly gulped the premature rat baby down and settled down even further on the glove. He didn’t see Lena’s expression, but it was likely a little disgusted with how readily Jack had just handed him a tiny baby rodent. He was a predator; what did you think he ate, woman?

They left the house and Jack locked it tightly behind him. The park was fairly close by; Gabriel hunted there often as it was the best place to catch voles for Jack. He was well aware that Jack couldn’t eat the voles and that they were fed to him later, but damn it, his instincts told him to provide for his broken mate.

He eyed the table full of people that they were approaching and let out a low warning hiss. He recognized Lúcio immediately; the boy’s dreadlocks looked longer each time they met. The boy grinned as he spotted Jack and Gabriel, waving his gloved hand over his head.

“Hey! If it isn’t the two coolest guys on the block,” Lúcio greeted. “And Reaper doesn’t look half-grumpy today.”

Gabriel screeched at Lúcio, flaring his wings out. He was always grumpy, you ingrate! His screech did get him the desired affect though; just about everyone else at the table scrambled to put some distance between themselves and the screeching monster in Jack’s arms. Jack let out a soft chuckle as he scratched under Gabriel’s chin.

“Are you done, drama queen?” he teased. “So, I suppose now would be the best time to mention that barn owls really don’t hoot. They screech at you. Loudly.”

“You get used to it with Mr. Grumpy Feathers,” Lúcio chuckled. “I get screeched at every time I try to take him out of his travel crate.”

And you deserve it, ingrate. You could learn to be a little gentler. His wings were delicate and he did not like getting yanked out of his travelling crate.

“Make some room,” Lúcio grinned at the other people. “Jack likes to sit down when he’s giving a presentation.”

“I’m used to working with kids,” Jack grumbled as he sat down at the picnic table and let Gabriel hop around on the wooden top. “Don’t touch,” he added as one of the women reached towards him. “He bites and it hurts like hell.”

Gabriel clacked his beak in emphasis, glaring at the woman with pink markings on her face. She pouted as she sat back, propping her cheek up on her fist.

“But he’s so cute,” she huffed.

Gabriel fluffed himself up before he hopped to the edge of the table and started heaving. He heard a few worried shouts as Jack easily moved his leg out of the way. Gabriel spat the pellet onto the ground and fluffed himself out, turning back around to glare at Lúcio. Say it, you bastard.

“Aw, what a good boy; you spat a pellet on the ground and not on me,” Lúcio laughed.

Not quite what he was expecting, but that would do. For now, anyways.

“That was…kind of gross,” the girl with the pink cheeks grimaced.

“Better than most hawks,” Jack chuckled as he stroked a knuckle down Reaper’s back. “I’ve seen them spray shit three feet behind them.”

“Reaper’s much too dignified for that,” Lúcio laughed.

Damn straight, kid. Gabriel lowered his head to preen his chest, ignoring the curious looks he was getting.

“So, who has questions?” Lúcio asked. “Jack knows tons about owls.”

“Most of it is second-hand knowledge,” Jack said softly. “A…someone dear to me was very fond of the birds.”

Gabriel turned without prompting and tucked his head under Jack’s chin. He clacked his beak at his love, trilling softly as he saw tears gathering behind his pretty blue eyes. He was here, Jack; you didn’t have to be sad. He would keep the memories at bay. Jack scratched at Gabriel’s chest and he saw a worried look pass between two of the women standing behind Lúcio.

“So, what’s your favourite part about looking after Reaper?” the blonde woman asked.

“His sass,” Jack chuckled. “Owls are generally pretty dumb in spite of what movies and books have told you. They look pretty but they aren’t really all that interactive. I got really lucky with my sassy, grumpy little Reaper.”

That’s because “Reaper” has a human mind, Jack. But, you wouldn’t know that now, would you? You couldn’t speak owl.

“Is he difficult to care for?” the only other man at the table aside from Jack and Lúcio asked as he leaned forward.

He looked a lot like Hanzo from last night; this was Genji then? Not a bad looking kid, but that green hair was a terrible idea. He looked like a cabbage.

“He can be,” Jack said as he offered another pinkie. “I have a partnership with the city to let him roam freely at night. He helps keep the local rodent population down without draining my bank account dry trying to keep him fed.”

“What are you feeding him?” the dark skinned woman asked.

“Pinkies,” Jack said sheepishly as he pulled one out and held it in the palm of his hand. “They’re premie rat babies. No fur or anything.”

“That’s so gross!” the girl with the pink markings squealed.

“Fascinating,” the blonde woman mused as she leaned forward. “These are treats?”

“They help keep him focused during a presentation,” Jack smiled as he offered the pinkie to Gabriel.

He greedily ate it. Yes. All the non-fur food for him.

“So, like a biscuit for a dog,” Genji grinned. “Cool.”

Jack chuckled in agreement. “Very cool.”

“So, you and Lúcio do presentations?” Lena asked as she cautiously reached out and stroked a knuckle against the side of Gabriel’s head.

Gabriel glared at her, but allowed the contact. He shot the girl with pink markings a warning look, fluffing the feathers across his shoulders up to make sure she understood that he wasn’t going to let her touch him. Lena was special because he knew her already. Strangers don’t get to touch his pretty feathers.

“We do,” Jack said as he ran a knuckle soothingly down Gabriel’s back. “The kids love him and he enjoys being showered in attention from so many little people.”

“Aw, he has a soft spot,” the girl with pink markings grinned at him.

So do you, child. Right between your eyes! Gabriel hissed at her and fluffed himself up more. Come closer so he can show you.

“He’s not quite as fond of adults,” Jack laughed. “Sorry Ms.?”

“Hana Song,” the girl grinned. “Think he’ll warm up to me?”

“In time, maybe,” Jack shrugged and offered another pinkie to Gabriel. “He really liked Hanzo last night. Let him pet him and everything right off the bat.”

“Really?” Genji asked. “Huh. Must be because they’re both grumpy assholes.”

Gabriel shot the kid a look and fluffed himself up. Hanzo knew what he was and while he didn’t understand all of what the man had said; he was not fluent in Japanese; he appreciated the reverence in which he addressed him. It was nice to be addressed as a human in animal flesh every once in a while. Not that he blamed Jack at all; magic and spirits weren’t really part of his life up until “Reaper” appeared and even then he wasn’t aware of it.

Gabriel scarfed he pinkie down, daring someone to touch him. He was ready to bite these people, if only to remind them that he was a god-damn owl and not some pretty little budgie. All the fight went out of him as Jack scratched under his beak, making him melt against the touch.

“Lúce, do you have your glove on you?” Jack asked. “I think everyone would like to see him in flight.”

Lúcio grinned and slapped the massive leather glove down on the table. “Hell yah, boss-man!” he laughed. “I figured you’d want to show off your little death-machine.”

Gabriel clacked his beak at Lúcio before stepping up onto the offered hand. Lúcio held on tightly to the leash as he stood up. He was not as smooth in his movements as Jack was and Gabriel’s wings snapped out constantly to keep him balanced. He glared at the boy, but all he got in return were a few affectionate scratches under his chin.

Damn it, Jack, you have exposed his weakness! How dare you! Now they will never take him seriously! His life was over!

Lúcio skated smoothly across the grass as Jack walked around the table. The audience eagerly followed, eyeing Gabriel curiously as he sat perfectly still in Lúcio’s hand. Jack pulled a much larger slab of meat out of his pouch and held it in his gloved hand. He didn’t need to use it with Gabriel; he would have flown to Jack even if Lúcio had brought him across the park. However, Jack was always cautious in such an open area and Gabriel knew that and loved him for it.

“Okay, Lúce, let go of the leash,” Jack called as he lifted his gloved hand and gave the cured chicken a small wiggle.

Gabriel took flight immediately, streaking across the ground like a black blur. He rose up in front of Jack and extended his talons, grasping his “prey” as he landed. He tore the chicken out of Jack’s grasp, swallowing the slightly salty treat in one go.

Everyone clapped in amazement, staring at him in awe.

“That’s amazing,” the blonde woman murmured. “Did you really need the treat?”

“No,” Jack admitted as he stroked a knuckle against Gabriel’s cheek. “Reaper could find his way to me no matter where I am. I just like to make sure he has the right incentive when we’re out in the open like this.”

Jack was more than enough incentive for Gabriel. He didn’t need food to keep his attention; he just needed to see Jack smile and he would fly to him. He needed to hear Jack’s voice and hear the joy in it. He deserved so much happiness.

If these people could give it to Jack, he would happily endure anything they threw at him. Except for Hana; he was determined to bite her every chance he got. It kept mouthy little things like her in line. And it was fun.

He was an asshole, after all. He had a reputation to keep up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Gabriel is being a WEE BIT DRAMATIC.
> 
> I say this a lot, but thank you so much to everyone that's given this story a chance. Holy Hells has the response been incredibly positive! Thank you!


	4. For The Kids

Jack went to “The Blue Dragon” every Friday. It became his new routine; he’d get through a week of dealing with his shitty friends and then he and Reaper would go to the quiet little bar for a few drinks and some real conversation. Jesse even installed a perch for Reaper up at the bar with a little dish holder so Reaper could enjoy his “usual” of two well stirred eggs and a small sprinkling of chicken. Lena took to calling Reaper “My King” and even made him a little crown to wear when he showed up.

If Jack didn’t know any better, he’d swear that Reaper actually approved of the title. He certainly let her pet him more often than he let anyone even get close to him. He could almost see the smug satisfaction on his companion’s face every time she bowed when they entered.

Jesse liked to joke that business had picked up since people found out about the live owl that liked to visit the place. Jack made sure to keep any drunks from getting too close to his companion, but a furious screech from Reaper usually sent them stumbling away with cries of shock.

It was more surprising to Jack the day that Jesse reached up without thinking and scratched at Reaper’s belly and wasn’t immediately bitten. He was given a cold glare until he removed his fingers, but he got to keep them. It was an impressive day and Jack was sure to croon his approval.

“Evening, Amélie,” Jesse called as he cleaned a glass.

“Evening,” a woman replied as she sat down at the bar beside Jack.

Her long black hair was pulled back in a high ponytail and she looked like she had sucked on something sour. Jack kept his attention on his mug of beer, a little unsure of what to say to the woman glaring at Reaper.

“Why is there an owl in your bar, Jesse?” the woman growled.

“Belongs to the man next to you,” Jesse said as he poured a drink into a fancy martini glass.

“You own an owl?” the woman, Amélie, turned to regard him coolly.

“I do,” Jack said. “Jack Morrison. My companion is Reaper.”

“Reaper,” she smirked in amusement, her cold brown eyes twinkling slightly. “Interesting. Do you do presentations?”

“I do,” Jack inclined his head.

“How much do you charge? The one my school board usually uses has decided that he doesn’t want to work with me on account of my…attire.”

“Attire?” Jack arched an eyebrow behind his glasses.

“My bodice creates cleavage that I keep covered, but apparently that’s not good enough for him,” Amélie rolled her eyes. “But you do school presentations, _oui_?”

“Yes,” Jack smiled. “I can give you contact information so your school board can do some background searches if they want.”

“I don’t need their approval,” she smirked as she nodded towards Reaper. “I can see that you take good care of your companion. Are you willing to come in on Monday?”

“I can do that,” Jack nodded.

“Perfect,” Amélie smiled. “The kids are going to love this; there’s nothing like seeing a live animal in the classroom.”

“There really isn’t,” Jack agreed.

Reaper gave himself a small shake and clacked his beak. Jesse tossed a piece of cured chicken to him and Reaper caught it eagerly. He bobbed his head in approval and wolfed the chunk of meat down. Yes, shaggy human, you are learning the ways of the Reaper. Keep this up and you will be allowed to bask in his glory. Possibly. We’ll see.

***

Jack spent Monday morning before school started looking Amélie’s classroom over. She helped him set up stickers on the windows, just in case Reaper got spooked and flew off. He was usually good with noises, but Jack never liked to take chances. Lúcio was down at the car keeping Reaper calm, but he could still hear the angry screeching through the open window.

“He hasn’t bitten you yet?” Jack asked over the walkie-talkie as he poked his head out the window to wave down at Lúcio.

“Not yet, but I know he wants to,” Lúcio laughed as he kept a firm grip on Reaper’s leash. “T-minus ten minutes?”

“We’ll see; I’ll let you know right before I blow the whistle,” Jack said as he ducked back into the room.

The school bell rang and Amélie’s students came streaming into the room with giggles. They eyed him curiously as they hung up their backpacks on the hooks along the wall beside the door. They whispered to themselves as they took their seats, eyeing him the entire time. Who was this stranger with the funny scars on his face standing beside the blackboard? The second bell rang and Amélie tapped a perfectly manicured finger against her desk as the morning announcements were read over the PA system.

“ _Bonjour,_ _mes élèves chéris_ ,” Amélie smiled and got to her feet when the announcements were finished. “We have a very special guest with us today. Please say hello to _Monsieur_ Jack Morrison.”

Jack smiled at the loud number of “Hello Mr. Morrison”s. It always amused him how happy children were to greet new people in a classroom setting. Anywhere else and they would have ignored him or asked him loudly where he got his scars. He tipped his head to Amélie, politely asking if he was allowed to take over. When she sat back down in her chair, he clapped his hands together and rubbed them eagerly.

“So, Ms. Lacroix has told me that you’ve been learning about nocturnal animals in your science class,” he said. “Who wants to start me off with a juicy tidbit or two?”

Hands eagerly shot into the air and he pointed to one of the boys in the back. He excitedly gushed about how cool bats were since they were able to locate their food with echolocation even when there was no light source. Heads nodded in agreement as the students looked at each other eagerly. Jack picked a few more kids to talk before he motioned for them to be quiet.

“You’re a very knowledgeable class,” he praised. “You’ve clearly been listening to your teacher and doing your own research. Well done. Now, I have a very special guest travelling with me, but I need you to promise me that you will keep quiet. He should really be asleep at this time of the day so he’s going to be a bit grumpy. Can you do that for me?”

The kids all nodded their heads. Some of them covered their mouths, grinning at each other as they looked expectantly at the door. Jack smirked to himself as he lifted the walkie-talkie. This was always the best part.

“Count of five,” he said.

He counted down from five before lifting the whistle hanging around his neck to his lips. He gave it a quick blast, making a few girls flinch at the high-pitched sound that issued out of it. The kids watched him curiously as he pulled his thick glove onto his right hand and lifted it up.

Reaper came barrelling through the open window, screeching angrily at Jack for leaving him for so long. He landed roughly on his arm, screaming in Jack’s face as he fluffed his feathers up. How dare he leave him alone with Lúcio for an hour! Jack took the wing-slaps to the side of his head with a smile as he watched the look of awe wash over the kids’ faces. He dug a pinkie out of the pouch on his hip and offered it to Reaper.

“Everyone, this is Reaper,” Jack said as he ran a knuckle soothingly over Reaper’s back. “He is a very good friend of mine and, as you heard, he was not happy that I was not with him. Can anyone tell me what kind of owl he is?”

A hand shot up in the air and he nodded to the student. “Barn owl!” she squealed.

“Exactly. Do you know the scientific name for him?” The girl shook her head. “ _Tyto alba_ ,” Jack smiled. “Now, usually this is the part where I start rambling about interesting information about owls, but I want to know what interests you kids. So, put your hand in the air if you have a question about owls in general or about Reaper.”

Hands immediately shot into the air and he picked one of the boys in the middle. “Why’re his feathers a funny colour?”

“I’m not really sure,” Jack admitted as Lúcio walked in with the rest of his presentation equipment. “Thank you, Lúcio; he was getting kind of heavy. Everyone, this is my assistant Lúcio Correia dos Santos. He helps me with presentations and is in charge of Reaper’s care while I’m busy.”

Reaper hissed at Lúcio and the children all giggled. Jack clucked his tongue and held Reaper up to the perch. He stepped up without complaint, looking at Jack expectantly. Jack fed him a pinkie and shook his head.

“Next question.”

“Where did you get him?”

“I actually found him in my attic,” Jack said as he leaned on the table in front of him. “I don’t know how he got there or why he was abandoned, but I took him in and started researching how to care for a fledgling owl so I didn’t accidentally kill him.”

“Was he cute as a baby?”

“No, no he was an ugly little thing,” Jack laughed. Reaper hissed at him and Jack clucked his tongue. “Oh, I have your baby pictures, Reaper; I know how ugly you were. His flight feathers didn’t come in for a couple of months, so I was left with this fuzzy little demon owl hissing at me from the confines of his little nest.”

“Does he hoot?”

“No, barn owls don’t hoot. They screech and hiss mostly.”

“How do you know he’s a boy?”

“Vet visit that was a tiny bit invasive,” Jack chuckled. Reaper shook himself out at just the right time to look like he was shuddering at the memory. “Usually, male barn owls are white chested,” he pointed to Reaper’s chest, “while the females are more of a tawny colour. Since he’s an unusual colour, I had to get a professional opinion.”

He spent the next hour talking about Reaper and owls, answering every question that came his way. The kids were as quiet as they could be, letting Reaper rest without being woken up until the end of the presentation.

“Now,” Jack smiled, “if you are nice and quiet, Reaper might let you pet him.”

“Line up,” Amélie instructed as the kids eagerly stood up from their seats.

They lined up and one at a time and Jack showed them how to pet Reaper’s belly. Reaper clicked his beak at each child, but he didn’t open his eyes as he was given attention. When the last child had sat back down, Jack offered his hand to Reaper and said their goodbyes as he stepped up. They kids gave a quiet round of goodbyes, grinning as Reaper tucked his head under his wing and continued to sleep.

* * *

 

“Well, I’m glad they enjoyed the presentation,” Jack said as he puttered around his kitchen making himself supper.

Gabriel watched him from across the house on his favourite perch. It was tucked up into the corner of the living room, letting him see all areas of the house without anything blocking his view. It also housed one of his favourite nests; a carefully weaved half-sphere made from one of Gabriel’s old shirts and a pair of Jack’s ruined track pants. It had smelled like a perfect blend of the two of them in the beginning; now it just smelt like Gabriel.

He clacked his beak slowly as Jack continued speaking with Amélie. She had called him shortly after four o’clock and excitedly told him how happy the kids were to have had a live owl in the classroom. The smile that dominated Jack’s face made Gabriel’s heart soar towards the stars. He wanted to perch on Jack’s shoulder and rub his head against his love’s cheek, but he knew that his talons would only hurt him.

He settled for flying to the perch by the sink and pulling at Jack’s shirt as he walked by. Jack’s fingers ghosted gently across his head as he shifted his cellphone to his other ear. He whisked his supper in the bowl in front of him, laughing at something Amélie said.

“Well, let me know if any of the other teachers want a similar presentation,” he said. “I’m only too happy to socialize Reaper and talk about conservation. You have a good night, Amélie.”

He hung up the cellphone and set it down on the counter. He started humming softly and Gabriel moved his head subtly along to the words that occasionally tumbled out of Jack’s mouth. It was their song, the song that Gabriel had sung whenever Jack was having a hard time going to sleep or missed home or really just wanted to hear his voice.

_“In other words, hold my hand._

_In other words, darling kiss me._

_Fill my heart with song and let me sing forever more._

_You are all I long for, all I worship and adore._

_In other words, please be true._

_In other words, I love you.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, I know what you're all wondering "but Blackfire, I thought you said there would be angst? This is all fluffy stuff! Look! There's even happy kids giggling about Reaper!"
> 
> When will you learn that I always give you warm fuzzy feelings right before dropping the hammer on your head? >3 Patience, my friends; your heartbreak is coming.


	5. Unexpected and Unwelcome Company

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: Anyone rereading the story at this point will notice that the club mentioned in the first two chapters has had a change of name. It was pointed out to me that naming the club "Pulse" while writing about about a homosexual couple was incredibly ill-advised and rather short-sighted of me. It was not my intention to be insensitive and I would like to extend my apologies to anyone that may have experienced any negative response to its use. I am sorry.

“You’re here early,” Jesse teased as Jack took a seat at the bar and let Reaper hop over to his perch. “I don’t usually see you until Friday. What’s on your mind, pardner?”

“Thought I’d treat myself to a nice drink in better company than what I’ve had to endure so far this week,” Jack shrugged. “Scotch on the rocks.”

“Ooh, that bad?” Jesse asked as he started mixing the drink.

“My friends are assholes,” Jack sighed as Reaper nipped at Jesse’s elbow. “Reaper, wait your turn.”

Reaper let out a low hiss and fluffed his feathers. Jack clucked his tongue at his companion, smiling in amusement. Silly, impatient hunter; Jesse hadn’t forgotten his eggs yet in the two months they had been coming here. Why would he start now?

“Do you need a bit of time for the alcohol to kick in or are you going to start talking to the barkeep immediately?” Jesse smirked as he set the glass down in front of Jack.

“I’ll wait ‘til you get Reaper’s eggs,” Jack smirked back.

“One cup of finely stirred eggs coming right up for my favourite customer,” Jesse laughed as he vanished into the back.

Reaper preened his belly feathers, spitting the broken ones onto the floor. He was as stressed as Jack was with the sudden bombardment of his inconsiderate friends showing up at his house. Jack didn’t like unexpected guests, but he especially hated it when his friends walked in without warning and started wailing at the top of their voice about their petty problems. Jack had gotten to the point where he didn’t care anymore and just wanted them to leave before he had a nervous breakdown on the spot.

Reaper came up with down stuck in his beak and shook his head trying to dislodge it. Jack laughed and leaned across the bar to gently pull the down out of his companion’s nose.

“You silly dear,” he teased.

Reaper nipped at his fingers and fluffed himself up. He was not silly, human. Lots of owls get their down stuck in their beak. He’s seen it happen so it must be true. You will just have to trust him because you know no other owl than him. Silly, unsociable fur owl.

“Here we are,” Jesse whistled as he set the egg mixture onto Reaper’s perch. “Even added some salted chicken in there for yah, you spoiled little bird.”

Reaper nipped at Jesse’s fingers for daring to imply that he was a little bird. He did, however, happily fish out an egg-covered piece of chicken and wolf it down. Jesse smiled at the sight before he went to mix some drinks for Lena to take to the other customers.

Jack sipped his scotch, enjoying the taste while Reaper appeared to dunk his chicken into the eggs a few more times. He lifted an eyebrow, but Reaper quickly wolfed the chunk down and stared at him as if he were out of his mind. Reaper was such a strange owl, but he was Jack’s strange owl and he loved him for all his little quirks.

He heard the door to the bar open and Reaper immediately went rigid. He let out a long hiss and shuffled towards Jack, fluffing himself up. Jack clucked his tongue as heels tapped their way towards him.

“So this is where you’ve been running off to every Friday?” Amy’s voice sneered behind him before she settled herself on his left. “I didn’t know your tastes had fallen that much, Jack.”

“Hello, Amy,” Jack said coolly as Reaper screeched.

“What’s got his feathers in a bunch?” Jesse asked as he wandered back over. “Easy there, pretty bird; gunna knock over yer drink if you keep that up.”

Reaper didn’t peck at Jesse as he ran a knuckle over his shoulders and clucked his tongue like he had heard Jack do hundreds of times. Reaper did not relax; he kept glaring at Amy and hissing quietly. Jesse offered a knuckle and Reaper gladly nipped at it. He started tonguing it gently when Jesse hissed in pain. Jack’s knuckles were toughened by constant nips; Jesse’s were calloused from work, but still soft to an angry owl nip.

Amy looked disgusted by the display, which only made Jack more determined to make sure Reaper and Jesse became best friends. Jesse stroked his abused knuckle down Reaper’s belly before he turned to look at Amy.

“Evening, ma’am; what can I get for ya?” he asked with his customary smile.

Here we go. Jesse didn’t realize what floodgates he had just opened by being his usual, charming self.

“Ma’am?” Amy sniffed. “Are you implying that I look old?”

Jesse’s eyebrow raised. “Ain’t one ta make assumptions like that,” he replied. “Simply a term o’ respect where I grew up. Sorry to offend.”

Amy looked Jesse up and down and her lip curled. “I highly doubt this establishment has anything resembling decent liquor,” she said.

“Then why’d ya walk in if ya ain’t interested in a drink?” Jesse shook his head. “Better not be to harass mah payin’ customers. I don’t take kindly to that sorta thing.”

Amy gave a hard smile. “Chardonnay,” she said.

“White wine; got it,” Jesse smiled before he went to collect the bottle. “You just sit tight now, _miss_ , and I’ll be right back with yer fancy wine.”

Amy growled after him. “What slob wears jeans to work?” she hissed.

“The kind that doesn’t show his lower half too often because he’s standing behind a bar,” Jack replied as Reaper started hissing again. “Hush, Reaper.”

She wasn’t going anywhere. May as well get used to spending the night with her around.

“Hey, who’s your friend?” Lena asked as she zipped over. She set a number of dirty dishes on the counter before wiping her hands on her apron. “Lena Oxton!” she said as she held her hand out to Amy.

Amy looked from Lena to the hand and curled her lip. “Pleasure,” she said.

Lena blinked and lowered her hand to rest on her hip. “You’re a friend of Jack’s right?” she asked.

“I am,” Amy lifted her nose.

Reaper let out a long screech and Lena jumped. “Oh, what’s got you all ruffled, King Reaper?” she crooned as she zipped over beside Jack and reached across the bar to stroke over Reaper’s belly. “Did Jesse give you bad chicken, you poor thing? All that work to make sure you’re all happy when you come here and that inconsiderate peasant gives you bad chicken.”

Reaper nipped at her finger gently and clacked his beak miserably. Oh, if only it were something as simple as bad chicken, zippy one. No, no he must deal with this ungrateful woman seated beside his stupid wingless owl. The lice in a peasant’s hair are worth more than she was in his imperial eye.

“He doesn’t like Amy,” Jack said. “He doesn’t really like any of my friends.”

“Huh,” Lena tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Must mean something,” she mused before shooting Jack a wicked grin. “I have to get back to work; let me know if you need me to take Reaps out back for a little bit of fresh air.”

“I will,” Jack chuckled as she zipped off to wait more tables.

“Excuse me?” Amy growled. “What exactly did that waitress mean by that?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said quickly. “She was just thinking out loud.”

“Here you go; discount Chardonnay,” Jesse said as he set the glass down in front of her. “Lena was here. Girl couldn’t even be assed to carry the dishes a few more feet to the sink,” he chuckled as he picked the dishes up and headed for the backroom again.

Amy sipped the wine and curled her lip. “Discount is right,” she growled.

“You didn’t have to come here,” Jack said as he sipped his scotch. “It’s a Tuesday; don’t you have to work tomorrow?”

“This coming from the unemployed layabout,” Amy sneered.

“I am employed,” he snapped. “I just work commission.”

“Uh huh,” Amy sniffed. “And cash in that veteran’s cheque you get every month.”

“That is barely enough to live on,” Jack snarled. Reaper shrieked and flared his wings, mirroring Jack’s outrage. “And I’ve earned the right to those cheques.”

“Yes, because you did so much in Germany. Barely even made a difference when you got to Indonesia. We both know who really did the heavy lifting there and it wasn’t the American sol-.”

“Enough!” Jesse slammed his hands down on the bar, startling both of them. “You, lady, are hereby banned from entering this bar ever again. Pay fer yer damn drink and get the hell out.”

“Excuse me?” Amy demanded as she rounded on Jesse, rising to her feet.

“You are harassing my customers,” Jesse growled and pointed a finger at her. His accent got impossibly thick when he was angry and Jack had to fight to keep from laughing. “I don’t feel good about bannin’ people, but you, lady, have pissed me off royally. Ya don’t get to walk in here and start tearin’ someone apart because they don’t live the way you think is good and proper.”

“You have no right to speak to me that way,” Amy shrieked.

“Actually, I do,” Jesse growled. “I own the damn bar. That makes my word law around here. So pay fer yer drink and get out of my sight before I ferget that manhandlin’ a lady ain’t nice.”

Amy glared at him before she threw five dollars on the bar and left. Jesse stuffed the bill into the tip jar and dumped the wine down the sink beside him. He ran his hand through his hair and let out a low growl.

“If I ever see that woman again, it will be too soon,” Jesse growled. “How are you friends with her, Jack?”

“We went to high school together,” Jack sighed. “I haven’t been able to cut that cord.”

Jesse looked at him for a long time before he reached out and rested his hand over Jack’s. “Hey, you ever need somewhere to hide, my door’s open,” he said gently. “Not the bar, my actual house.”

“That’s very kind of you, Jesse,” Jack smiled. “But I’ll, ow!”

Jack glared at Reaper as he chomped harder on Jack’s knuckle. He went to shoo his companion away, but Reaper just hopped right back and nipped at his knuckle again.

“Alright, alright,” Jack grumbled as he pulled out his phone. “I’ll get Jesse’s contact information, you nasty little bird.”

“He worries about you,” Jesse smiled as he added Jack’s information to his own phone. “That friend of yours ain’t much of a friend.”

“None of them are,” Jack sighed as he pushed his empty glass away. “I just…I haven’t been able to leave them since…since.”

Since his last joy in the world was snuffed out in an explosion that should have killed both of them. His asshole friends had been the only things he had left in the world since his family had decided that he had shamed them by almost marrying a man. They had been family for so long that he didn’t realize what terrible people they were until they had already wormed their way into every aspect of his life. He didn’t have Gabriel’s strength and love to fall back on; all he’d had was them and Reaper.

He covered his mouth as tears began building behind his eyes. He tried to breathe, but all that escaped him was a wet sob. Reaper hopped over immediately and pulled at Jack’s collar, clicking his beak insistently. Jack buried his face in Reaper’s back, trying his best to stifle his sobs. Jesse’s hand rested on his back and rubbed soothing circles.

“Hey,” he murmured. “Ain’t no one that’s gunna judge ya here, Jack. Yer among friends. Don’t you ever forget that, a’right?.”

Jack barely managed to nod. Reaper pulled gently at his ear, trilling softly as he wiggled to preen Jack’s hair. He stroked over the soft feathers, hugging his companion close as he broke down into sobs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the pain has started. A little bit of a taste of what will come later. King Reaper approves of your judgement, shaggy human; THROW THE BUM OUT!
> 
> Also, a lot of people seem to think that Hanzo owns the bar. Jesse calls him "the boss" the same way some spouses call their significant other "the boss" out of affection and a touch of teasing. He helped decorate the place because good GOD JESSE, you are not turning this whole place into a saloon!


	6. All I Long For, All I Worship and Adore

Jack was very suspicious when Lena showed up at his house on Sunday beaming from ear to ear. There was something to be said about uninvited guests, but he couldn’t find it in his heart to dislike the change in routine, even if he was standing in his slippers at the door with a powder blue housecoat on over his shoulders and his chest bare  so that everyone could see the scars that criss-crossed it. Reaper was sitting on his perch beside the door looking down curiously at Lena, clicking his beak in greeting before he turned and flew back into the house.

Just the zippy-one. No reason for Reaper to be concerned. Carry on, silly mate.

“Are you doing anything today, Jack?” Lena asked as she rocked from her toes to her heels.

He wasn’t sure how Lena had so much energy, but rather than drain him, he felt invigorated. She was such a happy person and a real delight to be around. He had to remember to invite her and Amélie over for supper sometime. That would be more than enough entertainment for a week.

“I didn’t have anything planned,” Jack shrugged before he took a step back and motioned for her to come in. “I’d rather not talk to you with the door hanging open. That’s how mice get in.”

“Wouldn’t Reaps just eat them?” Lena giggled as she trotted inside and carefully toed her shoes off.

“He might or they might get into everything before he realizes that they’re there,” Jack chuckled as he walked into the kitchen. “Would you like something to drink?”

“Water,” Lena called as she sat down at the table. “I’ve told you that your house is amazing, right?” she asked as she looked around.

“You’ve mentioned it a number of times,” Jack smiled as he brought a glass of water over to her. “Now, why did you want to know if I was doing anything?”

“Well, Jesse’s holding a little get-together down at the bar today and it’s invite only,” Lena grinned. “I wanted to beat him to inviting you when he eventually rolled his ass out of bed.”

Jack sipped his coffee slowly. “How many people?” he murmured.

“Well, there’s me and Amélie, Jesse and Hanzo, Genji and Zenyatta, Lúcio, Hana, Reinhardt and Ana, Angela and Fareeha, Mei-ling and Zarya might show up, but they just got back to town last night so there’s no guarantee with them. So, with you and Reaps, we have about sixteen people,” she smiled as she counted off on her fingers.

Jack chewed on his lip. He could handle fourteen other people, right? It was just going to be like any other day at the bar. He’ll sit down in his usual spot at the bar with Reaper and talk to people one on one. He could do this. He needed a lorazepam though, just to keep his nerves from getting the better of him.

“What time?” he asked.

“Around three,” Lena grinned. “I really hope you and Reaper make it, Jack! Everyone wants to meet the both of you.”

“I already know some of them,” he smiled around his coffee.

“Yah, but Reinhardt and Ana live out of town and only get up here once or twice a month to see Fareeha,” Lena grinned. “I think you’re going to love Ana. She’s so sweet. We’ve already warned Reinhardt to keep his booming to a minimum. He’s a big man and he likes shouting.”

“I appreciate the sentiment,” Jack said. “Is it a formal affair or…?”

Lena almost fell out of her chair laughing. “Oh my gawd, formal? With JESSE?! The only time I’ve ever seen him in a suit was at his and Hanzo’s wedding and even then he still had his stupid hat on! No, it’s jeans and whatever shirt you want to throw on,” Lena said.

“I will try to make it,” Jack promised as Reaper landed on his perch.

“That’s great, Jack!” Lena grinned before she reached over to stroke over Reaper’s wings. “You’re going to enjoy it, I promise.”

They talked for about another hour before Jack got up to get a vole for Lena to feed to Reaper. She was a little hesitant to take the dead rodent with her bare hands, but gladly accepted it when Jack handed her a glove. Reaper was very gentle taking it from her, not grabbing it as violently as he usually did. He scarfed the vole down quickly, pausing with part of the tail hanging out of his mouth.

“He is so vicious,” Lena teased as Reaper tipped his head back to swallow the last of the tail.

“Should see him with a pigeon,” Jack smirked as he rubbed beneath Reaper’s beak. “They give him such a hard time that he just tears them into pieces. Sometimes they’re even dead when he does it.”

“Oh…oh wow,” Lena paled a little bit. “I guess I forget sometimes that owls are predators.”

“Most raptors eat their prey while it’s still alive,” Jack nodded. “It’s very unsettling when you first see it, but that’s just how they are. A sadistic streak a mile wide.”

Reaper let out a soft call and clacked his beak at Lena. But he was still cute, right? You’re going to pet him, right? Pet him, Lena. Your king demands it! Lena reached up obediently and stroked over his head. Yes, good zippy human; you are learning the ways of King Reaper.

She walked towards the door shortly after, saying that she had to get ready. “Your housecoat is pretty, by the way,” she smiled. “Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

“I don’t usually,” Jack chuckled as he held the door open. “See you at the party, Lena.”

Lena grinned widely and waved before she zipped back to her car. Jack closed the door and watched her drive off before he turned around. He rubbed at his eyes, feeling the energy drain out of him. He was going to a party with people he didn’t know or knew just enough about to consider them more than acquaintances. He was excited and nervous and scared and he really just wanted to go lie down and sleep.

He grabbed his phone and set an alarm for noon, giving himself at least two hours of rest. He clicked his tongue at Reaper and headed upstairs. Reaper followed him loyally, landing on his cat-tree and cocking his head to the side as Jack discarded his housecoat. He crawled into bed and curled up, tucking his face into the pillow.

***

“Well, what do you think?” Jack asked as he smoothed out his lapels. Reaper gave a soft croak as he watched from his cat-tree. “I think I look charming as well.”

He had gone with a white button-up with one of his newer pairs of blue jeans. His hair was spiked carefully, the ends crisscrossed with meticulous care to form a semi-braid down the center of his head. He loved styling his own hair, twisting the grays up into the golden blond so that everything seemed to merge better. He didn’t mind his grays; he was going on forty and that was to be expected; but it was nice to even the colour out instead of the weird patches that he was getting.

He had applied some concealer over his scars to lessen the redness, the same he did whenever he went to do a presentation with kids. He didn’t want to scare these people off before they had a chance to know him. He knew how terrifying they could be to look at; he’d spent the first few months of recovery flinching every time he looked in the mirror. Granted, he was also seeing an explosion every time he caught sight of himself, but that was beside the point.

His scars were pretty ugly to look at. Aside from the painful red that never seemed to fade over time, the biggest one ran diagonally across most of his face. The smaller one intersected his lips, splitting the top one so that part of his tooth was always showing. The concealer helped lessen the impact a little. It certainly helped stop the kids from being too scared of him.

He ran his fingers from his temples back through his hair, sighing slowly. “Okay, you can do this,” he told himself sternly. “You only have to stay a few hours and they will understand if you are overwhelmed. Jesse is a good man; he won’t let you feel unsafe. And Reaper will peck anyone that tries anything.”

Reaper hissed his agreement before he flew out of the room and down to the perch by the front door. He clacked his beak loudly as Jack headed down the stairs carefully buttoning up his sleeves. Hurry up, human! There are new subjects to impress! He pulled his leather jacket on, snapping the collar up because it made him feel good when he did it. He pulled on his leather gloves, stretching his fingers comfortably in the black and red leather.

 He had bought the gaudy jacket when he’d first got stationed in Germany. Gabriel had laughed for ten minutes straight the first time he saw him in it, calling him “Captain America” for several weeks before he settled down to teasingly calling him “Soldier: 76” because of the numbers scrawled on the back of the jacket. Eventually, he just became known as “76” around base, even by those that didn’t understand the joke.

The jacket had smelt like Gabriel when he got back from Indonesia. Gabriel used to steal it on him right before supper and strut around with the jacket over his shoulders even though he couldn’t wear the damn thing. Jack had wide shoulders, but Gabriel had been a beast of a man. He towered over everyone, easily topping the six-foot-six mark and covered in hard, rippling muscles. There wasn’t a man in their unit that could hope to pin Gabriel down during exercises; he was too fast and too strong; but at night when it was just the two of them, Jack could hold Gabriel down with just a kiss.

Jack paused, resting his weight on the counter as tears burned his eyes. He missed Gabriel so much in that moment. The chasm in his chest opened wide and he felt a scream tearing its way out of him. He pushed his fingers into his hair and sank to his knees, sobbing and screaming as Gabriel’s booming laugh filled his head.

He missed Gabriel’s smile and his eyes and his face and his mouth and his hands and just everything that had made Gabriel, Gabriel. He missed his terrible jokes and the sassy comments and the way he always reached out to slap Jack’s ass when they got up in the morning. He missed the taste of his lips after he lit a cigar and the way his mouth moved around Jack’s numerous Spanish nicknames; _mi sol_ , _mi luna_ , _mi luz, mi chico de oro_ ; and the way he would brush his knuckles over Jack’s cheek when they were alone. He missed his strong arms wrapping around him, missed the sharp bite of his voice when he went from lover to commander at the first sign of danger, and missed the way he would angle himself in front of his subordinates whenever the mortar fire started falling.

Jack let out a long scream of agony and curled forward, sobbing and screaming for Gabriel. Tears fell heavily down his face, pattering off his chin to the floor. Reaper was fluttering around his head, screeching miserably as he tried to look for somewhere to land. He felt Reaper’s talons squeeze his shoulders before his beak was running furiously through his hair, preening him to try and make him feel better. Reaper let out a long trill, flaring his wings out to mantle them protectively over Jack’s head, hiding him from sight as he suffered a massive break down.

It took twenty long minutes for him to calm down. His throat was raw from screaming and his eyes burned from crying so much. He felt weak and empty, like all the life had been drained from him. He reached up to stroke a hand over Reaper’s feathers, smiling as those black eyes watched him. There was a softness that shouldn’t have existed in them, but Jack was too exhausted to care.

He stood up slowly, reaching for the counter to steady himself. He glanced at the clock and chewed on the inside of his cheek. He pulled his phone out and dialed Jesse’s number, leaning on the counter as he waited for the other man to pick up.

“Howdy,” Jesse said. “You ready for a good night, pardner?”

“I don’t think I’m going to make it, Jesse,” Jack said softly.

It hurt to talk, his throat was so raw. He should drink something to take the pain out. Water would be best, but he was half-tempted to dig out that bottle of tequila in the back of the cupboard and drain it. It would burn and he’d likely vomit ten minutes later, but at least it would knock him out.

Jesse was silent on the other end of the line. He could make out voices talking happily behind Jesse; it sounded like the party was already in full swing. The voices got quieter and Jack could have sworn he heard spurs clicking against the ground.

“Hey, do you need me to come get you?” Jesse asked gently. “You sound terrible, Jack; what happened?”

Jack wanted to lie and say that nothing had happened, but something told him that would not solve anything. Jesse would know. Somehow, the bartender would know and would be insulted that Jack lied to him. Jesse was his friend; he would understand better than anyone else. He took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling.

“I just spent the last twenty minutes screaming and crying for someone that’s been dead for almost five years,” he whispered.

“Jack, give me fifteen minutes,” Jesse said. Something about his tone reminded Jack of a drill sergeant and he smiled in spite of himself. “I will be there to pick you up. I know you probably don’t want to be around people right now, but I don’t want you to be alone after something like that. Fifteen minutes, okay?”

“Okay,” Jack whispered. “I’ll…I’ll be waiting.”

“Good,” Jesse let out a long sigh. “This is going to be good for you, Jack, I promise. Ain’t no one here that doesn’t get what you’re going through. We’ve all got our issues and we ain’t gunna throw ya to the wolves, got it?”

“Thank you, Jesse,” Jack shook his head.

They both hung up and Jack went to unlock his door. He sank down onto the couch and stared at the ceiling as Reaper landed on his chest. Reaper clacked his beak at him before settling down and resting his head against the space over Jack’s heart.

Jesse arrived fifteen minutes later right on the nose. He knocked and Jack yelled for him to come in. He didn’t move from the couch as Jesse walked in closely followed by Hanzo and Genji. Reaper lifted himself up to crouch protectively over Jack, flaring his wings in warning.

“Easy, Reaper,” Jesse said as he walked over. “Just here to help Jack.”

Reaper let out a low hiss before he turned and flew to his favourite perch. He settled into his nest, black eyes watching Jesse closely as he sat down by Jack’s chest on the couch. Jesse reached out to run his fingers through Jack’s hair, a small, sad smile playing across his face.

“Hey, how’re you feeling?” he asked.

“Hollow,” Jack replied. His voice didn’t sound better than it had fifteen minutes ago.

He should probably drink something.

Genji leaned on the back of the couch and looked down at him. “You know, I don’t want to tell you how you should live your life,” he murmured, “but I think you should see someone, Jack. A councillor or something, not a partner. Sorry, realized how that sounded after I opened my mouth.”

“Tried,” Jack murmured. “I can’t afford the sessions.”

“I could recommend you to someone,” Genji smiled. “He knows a thousand different ways to get his patients free sessions paid for by the government.”

That intrigued him. He turned his head towards Genji and tilted his head slowly to the side. Genji nodded.

“Zenyatta doesn’t like to see anyone suffering,” he said. “But, you know; how do you feel about omnics?”

“I defended entire settlements of omnics, Genji,” Jack smiled. “I don’t care what this Zenyatta is so long as he can help…maybe, help me…through this.”

Reaper let out a soft trill and bobbed his head encouragingly. Hanzo wandered over slowly, his eyes on Reaper for a few moments before he looked at Jack. His dark eyes were unreadable and Jack wasn’t sure what he was thinking.

“Zenyatta will help you, Jack,” Hanzo said. “He is an incredibly skilled psychologist. Your recovery will be his top priority and he will do what he can to make sure you are able to continue seeing him.” A wry grin spread across his face and he let out a soft chuckle. “The government officials hate him for knowing so many loopholes where they are forced to pay for his time.”

Jack let out a soft laugh and slowly sat up. He ran his fingers through his hair and pouted. Great, he’d ruined his hair with his episode. He let out a long suffering sigh before he got up and headed for the washroom on the main floor. He did his best to fix his hair, folding each spike carefully back into place so that his braid reformed. It wasn’t as smooth as it had been the first time, but it still looked good. He washed his face clean and reapplied the concealer, grimacing a little as he added it to the space under his eyes to soften the red rims forming. He took a deep breath before he walked back out.

“Well, shall we get going?” he asked.

Jesse grinned as he stood up. “Well, ain’t you a handsome devil,” he teased.

Hanzo shot Jesse a cold look before he reached up and tugged on Jesse’s earlobe. “Ahem.”

“Ow, didn’t say that he was better lookin’ than you, darlin’,” Jesse whined.

Hanzo snorted before he turned and headed for the door. Jesse followed with a whine, calling after his husband that he was just giving Jack a compliment. Genji snickered as they left, shooting Jack a smirk.

“Hanzo does this all the time,” Genji snickered. “I think he just likes to start fights so that he and Jesse can have make-up sex.”

Jack laughed and shook his head. “Sounds like an old married couple to me,” he joked.

“Agreed,” Genji laughed before he motioned for Jack to follow him. “Come on.”

* * *

 

Gabriel perched on Jack’s shoulder as they entered the bar. The talk died down immediately and every head turned to look at them. Jack tensed up under the unrelenting gazes and Gabriel immediately fluffed his wings. He leaned forward and screeched loudly, telling everyone in a very bold way to back the fuck off.

It earned a few chuckles, but everyone moved aside as Genji led Jack up to his usual place at the bar.

“Jesse! Come on, man! I’m sure everyone wants a drink by now!” Genji shouted as he dropped onto a stool.

“When did I say that I was making anyone drinks?” Jesse demanded as he planted his hands on his hips.

“It is your bar,” Hana grinned. “I’ll have a….”

“No,” Jesse glared at her.

“Please, Jesse?” Jack asked with a smile. “I’m sure everyone would appreciate it.”

“Whose side are you on?” Jesse demanded.

“The side that really needs a scotch,” Jack chuckled.

Gabriel clicked his beak in agreement and stretched a wing out to preen. He didn’t jump to his customary perch, content to sit on Jack’s shoulder until he was certain that his love had calmed down. He was tense under Gabriel’s talons, his eyes scanning the crowd as they cheered at the prospect of free booze.

Jesse sighed as he stepped behind the bar and started mixing drinks. He got Jack his first, setting the scotch down at his elbow and patting his shoulder. Jack accepted the glass gratefully, sipping it slowly as everyone else walked up to the bar to put their orders in.

“So, you’re Jack,” an older woman smiled.

Gabriel gave a warning hiss, fluffing his feathers at the woman. She looked nice enough, he supposed, with her motherly smile and the twinkle of mischief in her solitary brown eye. There was a tattoo beneath her remaining eye, a symbol of some sort that he didn’t recognize, but it probably had some significance to her. She had a blue shawl draped over her head with the ends tucked into her gray jacket.

“I am,” Jack nodded as he reached up to stroke Gabriel’s belly. “This is Reaper. He’s a little protective right now. You’ll have to forgive him.”

“I’m sure I could find it in my heart to do so,” the woman smiled before she held out her hand. “Ana Amari. I don’t know if Fareeha has told you much about me.”

“We don’t talk much,” Jack admitted.

Gabriel clicked his beak in agreement as Jack shook Ana’s hand. He nipped gently at Jack’s ear before he hopped onto the bar and walked over to his perch. He climbed up and sat there waiting for his own drink to show up. Jesse glared at him as he pushed a martini over to Amélie, snorting angrily through his nostrils.

“Really, Reaper, you too?” he demanded.

Gabriel fluffed his feathers and lifted his head. Yes, him too. He will take his eggs on the runny side, thank you. Maybe with an umbrella, if you have any to spare. Chop, chop, peasant.

Jesse let out a long sigh before he vanished into the back to get Gabriel his drink. Gabriel wiggled his tail-feathers in amusement before he turned his attention back to Jack. He was talking with Ana, a shy smile on his face as she patted his knee reassuringly.

“No, don’t feel ashamed, Jack,” she soothed. “War does that to you. Genji is right to send you to Zenyatta for help. He is very good.”

“That is what I have been told,” Jack sighed as he rubbed his eyes. “It is…I don’t know, I guess I feel like a failure for trying to get by on my own for four years and only now going to get help.”

“Admitting you need help is the first step,” Ana smiled. “Take it from another old veteran; being able to talk to someone about your problems helps.”

“I talk to Reaper,” Jack joked. “It’s a shame he can’t talk back. I’m sure he’d have lots of insightful owl knowledge to share.”

Gabriel tilted his head slowly to the side as Jesse returned with his drink. He nipped at Jesse’s fingers in thanks, tonguing the knuckle before he fished out a chunk of egg-soaked chicken and happily wolfed it down. Jesse grumbled something about feeling appreciated before he went to make himself a drink.

“He’s a beautiful bird,” Ana said as she watched Gabriel. “Such an odd colour pattern. Was he captive bred?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Jack shrugged. “I found him half-dead in my attic when he was barely more than a chick.”

“Strange place for an owlet,” Ana frowned.

“I know,” Jack shook his head.

He went to say something else when an absolutely enormous man walked over and settled himself down beside Ana. He rested one of his arms on the bar and smiled kindly at Jack. Gabriel did his best not to stare at the behemoth, taking his time to lap at his drink instead.

He couldn’t remember ever seeing a man quite as massive as this one. Gabriel hadn’t been a small man in life, but this giant dwarfed him. He was covered in thick gray hair, from the top of his head to his shaggy beard and down his massive arms. One of his eyes was white and had a large scar running down through it, offsetting the friendly blue one.

“So you are Jack,” the man said in a heavy German accent. “I am glad that you made it, my friend! I am Reinhardt Wilhelm, ex-Crusader.”

Gabriel lifted his head before he could stop himself and cocked his head to the side. He saw Jack’s eyebrows raise in surprise before he held his hand out.

“Well, it’s an honour to meet a Crusader, retired or not,” he said. “Your order helped keep the omnics from pushing far into the European Front. Can’t tell you how many times you saved our asses on the front line.”

“Many times, I am sure,” Reinhardt smiled as he clasped Jack’s hand firmly between his own. “I am sad to have to hang up my hammer, but the life I have been given in exchange is just as fulfilling.”

Gabriel saw the weak smile play across Jack’s face and he immediately hopped over to preen his graying blond hair. Jack turned to run a knuckle down between his wings, clucking his tongue as Gabriel snuggled closer to him.

“That is quite the bird you have,” Reinhardt nodded his head.

“I don’t know where I’d be without Reaper,” Jack murmured.

Gabriel pulled gently on Jack’s ear, trilling softly up at him. Ana and Reinhardt shared a look before they took their leave. Jack ran his fingers over Gabriel’s head before Hana came rushing over.

“Jack! Jack, Jesse just gave Lúcio permission to play his music! You have to come dance with me!” she squealed.

“I haven’t danced in years,” Jack winced. “No one wants to see this old man try to get his hips to move.”

“If Reinhardt can dance like no one’s looking, so can you,” Hana said sternly as she pulled him to his feet. “Reaper will be fine for a few minutes, right?”

Gabriel clicked his beak before hopping back onto his perch and finishing his drink. Yes, Jack, go dance. He will watch from here and remember the days of shore leave where they danced to whatever song was playing on the local jukebox. He felt himself deflate a little bit, wishing he could be up on the dancefloor with Jack, holding his waist as they laughed with their friends.

“Hello, Reaper,” Hanzo said as he sat down on Jack’s stool. He swished the clear liquor in his glass before setting it down on the bar. “But I suspect that is not your true name. You are Gabriel, aren’t you?”

Gabriel looked at Hanzo carefully before he nodded his head. Hanzo closed his eyes and nodded, glancing over his shoulder to watch the dancefloor as the soothing electronic beats started pumping through the bar’s speakers.

“We were very similar to each other once upon a time,” he murmured softly. “Kindred spirits know each other on sight. You sought Jack out after your death to keep him safe.”

Gabriel bobbed his head slowly. He wasn’t sure if he did it consciously or if his soul just followed Jack home after his burial. He could have gone anywhere that spirits were supposed to go, but he wanted to be with Jack and keep him safe. He had felt Jack’s soul tearing itself apart at the seams, barely able to survive from one day to the next as he found himself rejected by his family and then forced to rely on friends that were only interested in what he could do for them.

He remembered the frustration of not being able to hold Jack when he broke down in the middle of a shopping center, unable to handle being around so many people. He remembered watching Jack struggle through a simple payment at a grocery store till. He remembered Jack crying over the medical bills he had for the prescriptions he needed to deal with his PTSD. He had been able to do nothing as a spirit and had screamed for a way to help his love.

And then he woke up blinking in a dusty attic feeling sick and weak. He had screeched for a long time, some instinct telling him that food would be brought to him if he just screamed loud enough. It had brought Jack up to the attic to investigate and he remembered the joy he felt in his heart as Jack gently picked him up and wrapped him in his shirt.

“You have helped him on his road to recovery, Gabriel,” Hanzo said. “What will you do when he no longer needs you?”

Gabriel looked at Hanzo in disbelief. What would he do? He was Jack’s companion! Captive barn owls could live for twenty years! He wasn’t going to go anywhere; what was Hanzo talking abot?

Hanzo lifted his glass to his lips and took a slow drink. “There will come a time when Jack can function without you, Gabriel,” he said slowly. “What will you do when that day comes?”

Gabriel clacked his beak slowly. He looked at Jack dancing with Angela and laughing as he tried to keep up with the upbeat music. There was sweat dripping down his face and he looked almost ten years younger. Gabriel’s chest swelled with happiness at the sight because that was what he wanted for Jack. He wanted Jack to be happy no matter what. He wanted him to laugh and sing again. He wanted him to dance with his friends and not care about who was watching him.

If there ever came a day where Jack no longer needed Reaper, it would break his heart, but he would leave. He would leave Jack’s in the hands of those that loved and cared for him. Would he finally go to rest? He didn’t know; he couldn’t know.

He looked at Hanzo and motioned a wing towards Jack. He tilted his head to the side before shaking himself out. He had no way to communicate properly, but he hoped that the message was clear. He was there for Jack whenever he needed him.

Hanzo smiled and reached out to stroke a knuckle over Gabriel’s head. “You are a noble spirit, Gabriel,” he said gently. “Jack loves you no matter what. Never forget that.”

Gabriel nodded his head before the music came to a stop. Jack came stumbling back to the bar with sweat running down his face and a huge grin plastered across his lips. He sank down onto a stool and slumped against the bar, laughing happily as he pushed his hair out of his face.

“I haven’t danced like that in years!” he crowed. “I didn’t know Lúce was a DJ.”

“He usually plays for smaller businesses,” Hanzo chuckled as he gave the contents of his glass a slow stir. “He is quite talented.”

“I’ll say,” Jack sighed before he glanced over the bar. “Think Jesse would kill me if I stole some water?” he asked.

“If he does, I will personally kick his ass for you,” Hanzo chuckled as he got to his feet. “Give me a minute and I will get you glass, Jack.”

* * *

 

Hana let out a long groan as soft synth music started playing through the bar’s speakers, quickly followed by the sharp notes of a piano. “Seriously, you have this version of the song? Why not a faster one, like the one from _Bayonnetta_?”

“Don’t be dissing my music choices,” Jesse scolded her as he turned the volume up a little bit as a guitar started strumming. “Besides, I like this one better.”

He froze as he heard a soft gravelly voice singing over the music and lifted his head towards the bar. Jack was running his knuckle over Reaper’s head, a soft sad smile on his face as he sang.

_“Fly me to the moon,_

_And let me play among the stars._

_Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars._

_In other words, hold my hand._

_In other words, darling kiss me._

_Fill my heart with song and let me sing forever more._

_You are all I long for, all I worship and adore._

_In other words, please be true._

_In other words, I love you.”_

The vocals died down and the whole bar was staring at Jack as Reaper snuggled closer. Jack’s knuckles ran down between Reaper’s wings as tears fell quietly down his face. He kissed Reaper’s white forehead and picked up with the vocals in the same soft, gravelly voice.

_“In other words, hold my hand._

_In other words, darling kiss me._

_Fill my heart with song and let me sing forever more._

_You are all I long for, all I worship and adore._

_In other words, please be true._

_In other words, I love you.”_

The song ended with a few chords of guitar strumming before silence filled the bar. Jack looked up from Reaper and his eyes darted nervously at the attention he had garnered. Jesse shot Lena a grin before he started clapping his hands.

Jack turned a lovely shade of red and wiped at his eyes as everyone else joined in, whooping and shouting their approval as Reaper let out a soft, happy trill. Reaper pulled at Jack’s ear, twittering softly until Jack pressed a kiss to his head.

“That was beautiful!” Lena squealed. “I didn’t know you could sing, Jack!”

“I haven’t in a really long time,” Jack admitted. “I…that song. It was…ours.”

Jesse lifted his head in surprise. “Oh. Oh, Jack I didn’t mean to….”

“It’s okay,” Jack smiled. “It only brings back good memories. I’m…I’m happy to be able to share something as warm and…and happy as those memories.”

“Do you know any other songs?” Hana asked excitedly.

“A few,” Jack smiled shyly. “I sort of need the music though. My timing will be off otherwise.”

“Lúcio! Get that magic music finder of yours out! We have a karaoke party to start!”

Jesse shared a glance with Hanzo and shook his head in amusement. Kids and their fancy toys; they’ll never understand the pain of typing in song lyrics into Google and hoping they heard them right. He walked over to Jack and clapped his shoulder.

“Hey, don’t think that you have to get roped in with anything Hana suggests,” he said.

“It’s alright,” Jack smiled as Reaper cocked his head to the side. “I don’t mind. I think it’s time to start singing again.”

“Glad to hear it; nothing better for the soul than some nice tunes,” Jesse smirked. “Whatever ‘nice’ floats your boat, of course.”

Jack chuckled as he got to his feet. Reaper trilled after him and hopped up onto his shoulder, pushing his cheek against Jack’s as he walked over to Lúcio. Jesse watched him go and smiled. He was glad that Jack had let him give him a ride. This was good for him, he could tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *pushes the Jar of Tears over* Please aim for the jar while you sob your little hearts out. Happy tears or sad ones, they all fuel the creative process.
> 
> Now, I'm sure some of you are wondering why the thought of Gabriel breaks Jack down faster than flashbacks of the war. Well, that will be explained later. Just know that it is a very horrific moment in his life.
> 
> And yah, I know it's a little late to mention that he has scars and generally wears contacts instead of his glasses. Oops? Now you know XD
> 
> And I would love to know what you all think Hanzo was when he was in the same situation as Gabriel.


	7. From Bad to Manageable

Jack had absolutely no idea what possessed him to think that cooking for a houseful of people was a good idea. He really wanted to have his head checked several times by a number of highly respected doctors to see why he thought he could do this. The original plan had been to cook for Jesse and Hanzo as a thank you for throwing the party and for taxiing him from his house to the bar and back that night. Well, it wasn’t fair to not invite Genji and Zenyatta. And then he realized that he also wanted to thank Lúcio for everything he’d done for him over the years because holy shit was that kid a life-saver. And then he invited Lena and Amélie because he had panicked when Lena had zipped over to see what they were talking about.

He had spent his entire Saturday running around getting ingredients for supper and rapidly texting everyone about what they liked to drink. After he got a different answer from everyone, he asked if red wine and beer would be okay and got a resounding “YES” in return. So, almost three hundred dollars in groceries later, he had everything stuffed in his fridge and waiting for him for Sunday night.

Unfortunately, all the running around had made his anxiety flare up so badly that he’d had to take a lorazepam to calm himself down. Only he was so frazzled and emotionally exhausted and on the verge of tears that he didn’t realize until he woke up the next morning to a very pissed off Reaper hissing at him from his favourite perch that he had taken a sleeping pill instead of his anxiety medication.

That left him feeling even worse because Reaper had been cooped up inside all night which probably meant that he was hungry which meant that Jack was probably going to get bitten several times as he attempted to feed him. He probably wasn’t going to talk to him all day or ever again because how the hell could he have fucked up that badly that he took the wrong fucking pill and kept Reaper inside all night? He was a terrible person, a terrible animal parent, and a terrible friend.

He dropped almost all of the eggs as he tried to move them out of the fridge so that he could get at the rest of the ingredients. He then slipped in the mess when he went to get a paper towel. He landed on his bad hip, jarring himself bad enough to make him scream and lay face-down in a pool of egg yolk. He slipped trying to get up, bouncing his chin off the linoleum floor and….

And that was it. That was the breaking point. He curled up into a ball and sobbed. He was going to call everyone and tell him that the dinner was cancelled. They’d probably hate him because they were looking forward to a home-cooked meal and now they’d have to figure out what to make for themselves. He was going to lose all the friends he had just made because he was a walking catastrophe.

He didn’t know how long he laid there crying before he heard Reaper noisily lapping up the egg yolk. He lifted his head out of the mess under his arms and blinked at his companion. Reaper was walking slowly along the floor, happily licking up all the yolk as he went. He tipped his head to the side and trilled at Jack before continuing on his way.

A laugh bubbled past his lips and he fell back into the mess laughing as loud as he could. He didn’t know why he thought Reaper licking egg off the ground was funny, but he did. Maybe it was the happy gleam in his eyes as he walked through what must have looked like a hellish nightmare to a chicken. Maybe it was the adorable little waddle Reaper had when he was walking. Maybe it was the desperate need to do something other than cry about his situation.

He got slowly to his feet and went to get a mop. He cleaned up the egg yolks and threw as much of the shells in the compost as he could. He lifted Reaper up onto one of his perches and fed him a couple of mice as an apology for leaving him inside all night. Reaper nipped at his knuckle in thanks, trilling happily as Jack spoke utter nonsense to him in that baby voice that animals seemed to like so much.

He took a nice long shower to clear his head, scrubbing the dried egg out of his hair. His hair looked amazing afterwards and he laughed about the benefits of eggs for hair as he ruffled his graying blond hair. He waited an hour for his nerves to calm down, then tried to start supper again.

It went much smoother now that his nerves were not as shot. He chopped the vegetables and herbs, fought with Reaper because the chicken was not his in spite of how hungry he thought he was, and got everything frying as he worked on making homemade tortillas.

He rationed out three wraps per person, figuring that some people were going to eat less than others and someone was going to pick up the slack. He tossed a couple of strips of chicken to Reaper, humming as he placed the tortillas in the oven to keep them warm. He was working on three different sauces when the doorbell rang.

Reaper screeched and flew to the perch by the door, flaring himself up as Jack answered it. Jesse gave Reaper an amused smirk as he ducked into the door with his arms full of what Jack guessed was dessert. They just looked like boxes from where Jack was standing. Hanzo filed in behind him, smirking at Reaper as he stopped screeching and started preening himself.

“You’re a little early,” Jack admitted as he hung up Hanzo’s coat.

“Figured you could use some help,” Jesse grinned as he set out three different pies on the counter. “You are feeding a small army.”

“I’m almost done,” he admitted. “But, if you want to set the table and find chairs for everyone, I’d appreciate it.”

“Sure thing,” Jesse grinned before he started rooting around for all of Jack’s dishes.

Hanzo helped set the table, but Jack could feel his gaze on his shoulders as he stirred the sauces one at a time. He guessed that he looked a little tired after what happened earlier, but he felt much better now that it was out of his system. Reaper flew back and forth between the perch at Jack’s elbow and the one in the dining room, trilling at Jack and hissing at Jesse.

“Never thought I’d hear him make any noise other than hissing and screeching,” Jesse joked as he leaned on the counter.

“He doesn’t trill very often,” Jack agreed as he put the lids on all three saucepans and set them aside. “There, that should be all of it. Now we just have to wait for everyone to show up.”

“Knock, knock,” Lena called as she opened the door to the house. “Oh my gawd, that smells amazing, love!”

“Glad to hear it,” Jack smiled as he walked over. “Here, let me get your coats.”

“What a gentleman,” Amélie teased as she kissed his cheek. “Jesse should take notes.”

“Ha, ha,” Jesse called from the dining room.

Jack smiled and motioned them into the house as he hung up their coats. He was almost hit by the door as Lúcio came springing into the house. He apologized immediately, rubbing the back of his head as his dreadlocks bounced around behind him. Jack reassured him that he was alright before motioning him into the house to mingle with the others.

“Sorry we’re late,” Genji called as he and Zenyatta walked through the doors about ten minutes later. “Zenny had a call he had to take.”

“That’s okay; dinners still hot,” Jack smiled. “Hello, Zenyatta; how are you?”

“Very well,” Zenyatta inclined his head. Even though he didn’t have a mouth, Jack could tell he was smiling. “And yourself?”

“Better than I was this morning,” he admitted.

“Oh, did we make you panic?” Lena asked. “I’m sorry!”

“Don’t be,” Jack shook his head. “This is a learning experience, if nothing else.”

Reaper trilled his agreement before he flew over to his dining room perch and cocked his head at everyone. Jack rubbed his hands together and grinned.

“So, you’ve all had fajitas before, right?” he asked.

“Yes!” Jesse laughed before he thumped Hanzo’s back. “Nothing like my Mama’s fajitas, right babe?”

“We are about to see,” Hanzo chuckled as he reached up to pat Jesse’s cheek.

“Well, belly on up to the bar,” Jack laughed as he waved to stove. “Three different sauces for you. You have the mild one; it’s the really light one there on the right. Then there’s a hotter one right beside it and, for those of you feeling adventurous, a ‘melt-your-eyes-out-of-their-sockets’ kind of heat.”

“You like incredibly hot sauce?” Jesse demanded.

“My fiancée was a Latino; I didn’t get a choice in my tolerance levels,” Jack laughed. “It was either learn to like spices or suffer quietly.”

Jesse laughed before making his way over to the stove. He filled up his tortilla and carefully spread a little bit of the eye-melting sauce on the filling before stepping aside to let everyone else in. Everyone sat down at the table after they had their first fajita and started eating.

Everyone let out similar sounds of delight as they ate. Jesse started coughing almost immediately, thumping his chest before chugging down a glass of milk. Hanzo shook his head at Jesse’s antics, smiling fondly at him as he slammed the glass down and coughed.

“Holy shit! You weren’t kidding! What the hell do you have in there?” he demanded.

Jack listed off three different types of hot pepper, four different spices, and tomato paste before smirking at Jesse’s stunned face. He ate his own fajitas without flinching, feeling the heat burn all the way down his throat, but having long since gotten used to it. Gabriel would be so proud of him.

“Yah, you people are crazy,” Lena shook her head as she ate. “That many spices makes my head spin.”

“Like I said, Latino fiancée,” Jack smiled. “You either learn to keep up or he’d drag your ass through spice hell.”

“Spice hell?” Lena giggled.

“That’s what we all called it,” Jack smiled. “God, he’d whip up this supper for us at least once a week and get so insulted if we couldn’t eat it. There was never any way to prepare for it either; one day we’d just walk into the caf and see him in this stupid frilly apron and we’d know we were fucked.”

Reaper let out a soft trill as Jack wiped at his eyes. Genji rubbed his back with a kind smile and Jack nodded to him. He was fine; these were good memories and easy to share. He liked telling people about what an amazing cook Gabriel was and how much milk their unit chugged whenever he decided to make supper. They were good memories, moments he missed, but didn’t open the chasm in his heart too much. He could live with this pain.

The topic shifted from Jack to Lena, who excitedly told them about the food her mother used to make. Jesse joked that it was typical white people food and Lena almost threw a fork at him. She threatened him with taking a week off work to leave him fending for himself and he shut up immediately. They had a good laugh as they finished supper and moved on to the pies Jesse had brought.

They were unfortunately all store-bought, but apple pie was apple pie. You did not dis the apple pie or you got none. Which almost happened to Genji when he whined that the crust wasn’t very good. Hanzo reached across the table to tug on his plate and Genji immediately yelped that the crust was the best thing he’d ever tasted.

Lena and Amélie left around ten that night. Amélie had school in the morning and needed all the sleep she could get. Lúcio followed them out, thanking Jack for the amazing supper. Genji and Zenyatta left shortly after Zenyatta told Jack about when his first appointment was.

“I have arranged for you to bring Reaper with you,” Zenyatta said as he rested a hand on Jack’s arm. “I have seen how he calms you. It would be foolish to expect you to speak of painful things without him there.”

Jesse and Hanzo had too much to drink; not to the point of intoxication, but there was no way they could have made it through a ride-check. Jack showed them to the guest bedroom on the second floor and they gratefully retired after helping clean up supper and do the dishes.

Jack fell asleep feeling happy for the first time in ages.

* * *

 

Gabriel almost fell off his perch as someone pounded on the front door. He screeched his displeasure as Jack tumbled out of bed. He hopped down to preen Jack’s hair, making sure he was okay before he flew down to the perch by the door and screeched again. Who the hell comes pounding on someone’s door first thing in the morning?

“Whuzzat?” Jesse asked as he stumbled out of the spare bedroom with nothing but his jeans on.

“Fuck if I know,” Jack yawned as he headed down the stairs.

The pounding continued and Gabriel screeched. He’s coming, you jackass! For fuck sakes; it’s eight in the morning! Decent folks were still sleeping!

Jack opened the door rubbing at his eyes and Gabriel screeched even louder. Blaire, Greg, Amy, and Trevor pushed through the door, each one berating Jack on his appearance. Jack lifted his hands in confusion before he let his head drop backwards.

“It’s eight in the fucking morning,” he groaned. “Don’t you all have to be at work or something?”

“We’re worried about you,” Blaire said as they moved to sit at the table. “You haven’t been yourself lately.”

Yes, he hadn’t been his down-trodden self, you’re right. Gabriel screeched at them, desperate to rake his talons down each of their faces until he could rip their eyes out of their sockets. Jesse was still standing at the top of the stairs blinking in confusion. He counted the four newcomers before he shook his head.

“I ain’t cookin’ breakfast for all of you,” he shouted.

The newcomers jumped and snapped their heads up to stare at Jesse. Amy immediately bristled and glared at Jack as if this was somehow his doing. Technically it was, but he didn’t tie the couple to the bed to make them stay.

“Jack, who’s the hairy man?” Trevor asked slowly.

“Jesse McCree,” Jack rubbed at his face. “He’s a friend.”

“You’re fucking that bartender?” Amy demanded.

“Now hold on there,” Jesse snorted as he headed down the stairs. “I’m a happily married man and Jack isn’t mah type. No offence.”

“None taken; you aren’t my type either,” Jack teased.

“Why else would he be here?” Amy growled. “You can’t fool….”

“Why is there so much shouting at eight in the morning?” Hanzo asked as he leaned on the railing.

Their heads snapped towards Hanzo and if they were stunned to see Jesse, they were doubly so to see Hanzo. His hair was a little dishevelled and hanging around his shoulders like a black cascading waterfall. He was wearing Jesse’s shirt from the night before and a pair of underwear, but nothing else. He yawned, showing off an impressive set of fangs before he rubbed at his eyes.

“Jack, are these people friends of yours?” Hanzo asked.

Gabriel hissed as Jesse started puttering around the kitchen. Hanzo glanced at him before he pulled a pair of glasses out of his shirt pocket and put them on. They didn’t make him look any less tired, but he could probably see everyone better.

“I hope my husband didn’t offend you with his half-nakedness; he can be so barbaric,” Hanzo said.

“Says the man standin’ in mah shirt and a pair of underwear!” Jesse howled. “Yer more naked than I am, darlin’!”

Hanzo smiled and let out a noncommittal noise before he made his way down the stairs. “Yes, but they can’t see anything, can they?”

“Hey, these aren’t my lounging jeans, darlin’; ain’t no hole in the crotch,” Jesse grinned as he started frying up what was left of the eggs. “Sorry, Reaps; no eggs to spare for you.”

Gabriel flew over and landed on the perch, nipping at Jesse’s knuckle. Jesse laughed and ran his finger over Gabriel’s wings, clucking his tongue. Gabriel fluffed his wings and glared at the four pests at the table. He wanted them gone, Jesse. Please throw them out. You’re a big strong man; show them where the front door was.

Hanzo slid against Jesse’s backside and gave his bottom a firm pat. “Your jeans are tight enough to leave nothing to the imagination, _anata_ ,” he purred softly.

“Darlin’, we are in someone else’s house,” Jesse pouted. “That ain’t fair to tease a man.”

“So, as I was saying,” Blaire said loudly as she glared at the couple in the kitchen. “We’re worried about you, Jack.”

“You have no reason to be,” Jack said as he leaned against the counter so that it was between him and the four newcomers and glared at them. “I’m happier than I’ve been in years.”

Gabriel hissed in agreement and flew to Jack’s elbow. He reached up and nipped at Jack’s shoulder, carefully convincing him to lower his head so he could preen his hair. Jack complied with his demands, shifting himself down so that Gabriel could preen him.

“You’re spending money you don’t have,” Blaire shook her head. “Jack, you barely leave your house.”

“I’m spending money I don’t have,” Jack mused as he stroked Gabriel’s belly. “Imagine that, Reaper. I didn’t realize that Blaire had access to my bank account. Did you?”

Gabriel let out a sharp croak and turned to glare at the woman. He flared his wings and lifted his tail, making himself look bigger as he let out a long shriek. Blaire drew away, eyeing him as Greg leaned forward with his pretty face turning red.

“Would you shut that fucking bird up, Jack? Honestly, all it ever does is screech at us!” he snarled.

“Ssh,” Jack soothed as he ran his knuckle slowly down Gabriel’s back. “Maybe he wouldn’t screech if you weren’t a bunch of assholes. He’s not dumb, Greg. He knows who he can and can’t trust.”

“Excuse me?” Greg growled.

Jack inhaled and Gabriel fluffed himself up. Good; this conversation was a long time coming. He’s got your back, baby. Don’t you worry.

“You four have got to be the worst group of friends I have ever had the misfortune of having,” Jack said carefully. “Your self-entitlement is exhausting and abrasive, not to mention extremely annoying. What is the worst thing that’s ever happened to you? A cancelled date? A bounced cheque? Why do you think the world owes you something for shit like that?”

“Have you been listening to that bartender?” Amy rolled her eyes. “There’s barely enough brain cells there to create friction.”

Gabriel hissed and flared his tail out. He didn’t have to look to know that Jesse was flipping her the bird over his shoulder.

“I can hear you, lady,” he called. “Bacon ain’t sizzlin’ that loud.”

“This isn’t just listening to outside concerns,” Jack said. “This is my own observations. You don’t care about me; you care about what I can do for you.”

“We make sure you get out of the house,” Trevor pipped up.

“Yes, straight into the loudest club you can fucking find and then abandon me at the bar,” Jack snapped.

Gabriel hissed his agreement before he preened his chest. Go on, Jack; tell these fuckers what you really think of them! They deserved to know.

“You love bars and clubs! We used to go clubbing on your shore leave,” Blaire whined.

“That was before I was almost blown up in Indonesia!” Jack snarled. “For fuck’s sake, do you think I’m faking my attacks or something? Why the FUCK would I do that?! Do you think it’s fun to be back on that fucking beach trying not to get killed while everyone else is dropping dead around me? Or standing there feeling the walls closing in on me with the knowledge that the man I loved is dead on top of me?!”

Jack started shaking and Gabriel pressed himself against Jack’s chest. He was here for you, Jack. Tell these fuckers exactly what they have done to you. They deserve no clemency for the mental abuse they have caused.

“Jack,” Blaire sighed.

“No, don’t use that tone with me,” Jack growled as he ran his fingers through Gabriel’s feathers. “You think I’m milking this, don’t you? You think that I actually enjoy being fucking triggered by my own thoughts?”

Gabriel nibbled at Jack’s chin and ran his forehead against his love’s cheek. Jack kissed his head, murmuring softly in broken Spanish. Gabriel trilled softly and snuggled closer.

“You think that I can just make myself happy again by acting the way I was before the war,” Jack said slowly. “The truth is that I’m not the same person anymore. I have an unseen illness, one that I carry with me every fucking day. I stand here every day wishing I could do something different, but I’m stuck in my own head. I want to sing and laugh and dance again, but it’s not easy when those little joys make me…make me.”

He covered his face and let out a soft sob. Gabriel shifted as Hanzo hugged Jack tightly and pressed his head into Jack’s shoulder. Jesse’s arm looped around Jack’s chest and pulled him close. Gabriel let out a happy trill at the sight, shaking his tail-feathers until Jack started laughing.

“Jack, I don’t think you’re thinking straight,” Greg said. “You know how to make yourself better, you just….”

“Enough,” Jesse growled. “I’ve been keeping my mouth shut cuz this ain’t my business, but now you’re treading thin ice. Ya don’t fucking talk to yer friends like that.”

“Do you claim to be his friend, bartender?” Amy sneered.

“Better one than you lot are,” Jesse snorted.

“You haven’t know him long enough to call yourself that,” Trevor huffed.

“Friendship is not about how long you have known someone,” Hanzo said slowly. “It is about who stands by your side through the worst moments of your life.”

Fucking hell, Hanzo; did you read that off a fortune cookie or something? Gabriel snapped his beak at Hanzo and subtly shook his head. For shame, my friend. For shame.

“We have been there for Jack; we’re here now,” Blaire rolled her eyes. “You’re just enabling him.”

“And how do you figure that?” Jack demanded.

“They’re acting like you’re a two year old throwing a tantrum,” Greg nodded his head. “If they let you handle it on your own….”

“I just went from zero to one hundred in less than a moment,” Jack snarled. “Their presence has helped bring me back down faster than if I was here on my own. So, do me a favour, Greg, and go fuck yourself.”

“Repetition is the key to success,” Hanzo chuckled darkly.

“Door’s that way,” Jesse agreed. “Get.”

Blaire’s mouth opened in disbelief before she got to her feet. “Are you serious, Jack?” she demanded. “After everything we’ve done for you, you’re going to treat us like this?”

“You haven’t done anything for me, Blaire,” Jack snorted. “Take your posse and leave. I never want to see your shadows on my doorstep ever again.”

And just like that, everyone’s mood shifted. Gabriel flared his wings defensively as Amy got her feet under her and started standing up. Greg towered over Blaire, glaring down the end of his nose at Jack. Trevor scooted behind Greg, glowering at Jack like a kicked dog.

“You ungrateful little hick,” Greg snarled.

“Pot calling the kettle black there, Greg,” Jack growled. “We all grew up in the same little hick town. And I’m not ungrateful; I’m just not swallowing anymore of your bullshit. Get out of my house.”

“Your house,” Trevor sneered from the safety of Greg’s hip. “The one the government gave you.”

“I served in the army for fifteen years; I earned the right to a fucking house after I got back from the Crisis,” Jack snarled. “All the government did was help me find a realtor in the suburb I wanted to live in. I paid for everything else. So fuck you, you spineless little weasel.”

Gabriel screeched his agreement, flaring his feathers. You tell them, baby! He’s got your back!

“We were there for you from the start,” Amy snapped. “These layabout doesn’t know the first thing about you.”  

Gabriel turned his head as Jesse and Hanzo exchanged amused glances. He cocked his head to the side as Hanzo stroked his beard thoughtfully.

“Amy Castello, correct?” he asked. “I do believe you’re on my payroll.”

Amy paled. “What?” she hissed.

“Mmm, you’re lucky I’m not a petty man or I would fire you on the spot for the harassment of a veteran,” Hanzo continued as he dug dirt out from under his nails. “You do, after all, represent my company wherever you go and this is a very clear sign of harassment that my company does not stand for.”

Amy’s mouth gaped open and the others took a nervous step backwards. Hanzo continued cleaning his nails, pretending that he didn’t notice them getting ready to bolt. Gabriel hissed at them and fluffed his feathers up. See, this is what Jack’s friends are; smart businessmen that know when to separate work from life and be there when their PTSD-diagnosed friend was having a breakdown.

Jack touched Hanzo’s hand fondly before he glared at the group. “Leave. Don’t make me say it again.”

Blaire headed for the door first, Trevor at her heels. Amy hurried after her and threw a terrified look over her shoulder at Hanzo. Greg stalled just long enough to pin Jack with a glare.

“Don’t come crying to us when they ditch you,” he snarled. “You’ll see who your real friends are then.”

He stalked off after the others and Gabriel let out a screech. He did the one thing he’s wanted to do for four years; he took flight and chased Greg out of the house screeching at the top of his lungs. He landed on the perch by the door and screeched as Greg slammed the door closed.

“How long have you wanted to do that?” Jack laughed as he slumped against the countertop. “Fuck; that was the hardest thing I’ve had to do in a very long time. I’ve known them since I was in high school.”

“Then they have been hurting you for a long time,” Hanzo soothed as Gabriel flew back to the counter. “We should celebrate you breaking from such toxic people.”

“And how are we going to do that?” Jack asked as Jesse retrieved three plates of warm breakfast from the oven.

“I know a nice restaurant uptown that serves amazing steak,” Jesse grinned as he set the plates on the table and went to find glasses.

“You would,” Jack chuckled as he sat down. “Reaper, come here.”

Gabriel landed on the back of Jack’s chair and rubbed his face against Jack’s cheek. He was so proud of you, Jack. You finally stood up to those bullies and he’s so proud of you. This will be good for you, he promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now those terrible people are gone from his life. Reaper's that little cheerleader bouncing around screeching "FIGHT FIGHT" when two guys are ready to go at it XD
> 
> I think writing moments of intense anxiety are some of the most difficult for me. More because it's these really long strings of sentences that make perfect sense to my anxious mind but I spend a lot of the editing process going "does this get across the feeling I want it to?"


	8. On The Road To Recovery

Jack kept a firm grip on Reaper’s leash as he stepped into the clinic. He was expecting the weird looks thrown his way; it wasn’t exactly an everyday occurrence to see a man walking around with an owl on his arm. Reaper was on his best behaviour and wasn’t screeching at anyone that they saw. He was shooting a mean stink-eye at anyone that got too close, however. Such a good protective little owl he was; yes, keep the strangers away.

“Jack Morrison?” the receptionist asked with a smile as he walked over to her.

“Yes,” Jack nodded.

“Zenyatta is expecting you,” she smiled. “He’s just down the hall here. Third door on the left. That owl is beautiful.”

“Careful how loud you say that,” Jack chuckled as he playfully covered one of Reaper’s ears. “You might inflate his ego even more than it already is.”

The receptionist giggled at the tease as he walked away. Reaper nipped at his finger for the comment. If owls could pout, Reaper was certainly pouting. He clucked his tongue at his companion, petting his belly to soothe away the pout; silly baby, Jack still loved you. Jack counted off the doors he passed before he rapped his knuckle against the third on the left.

“Come in,” Zenyatta’s soothing voice called.

Jack pushed the door open and smiled. “Afternoon, Zenyatta,” he greeted as he walked in.

“Afternoon,” Zenyatta inclined his head. “I am glad that you made it, Jack. Hello, Reaper; I hope the perch I had installed for you is to your standards.”

Jack smirked as he lifted Reaper to the perch behind the sofa. Reaper stepped up immediately and shuffled around, clacking his beak in approval as he sat directly over Jack’s shoulder, ever the watchful guardian. Yes, this pleases the King; well done, metal one. Zenyatta laced his fingers together as he floated opposite Jack.

“I see that he approves,” Zenyatta chuckled. “I was worried that it would not be big enough.”

“Thank you, Zenyatta,” Jack said as he reached up to stroke over Reaper’s belly. “This is more than I could have ever hoped for.”

“I am glad,” Zenyatta tipped his head in a smile. “Now, I know this will be difficult for you, Jack. I do not expect you to tell me everything at once. We need to find the root of your problem and work slowly to help you recover. If it takes a hundred sessions before you’re ready to tell me anything, I will wait that long.” He floated a little closer and rested his cool, metal hand on Jack’s. “I am here to help you, Jack. You are not alone, no matter what this illness will have you believe.”

“Thank you,” Jack sighed before he rubbed his neck and leaned forward. “I know what my biggest problem is,” he murmured. “I…the flashbacks. They’re triggered mostly by loud noises; bass, mostly. Like in a club. I can’t fucking stand it anymore. It sounds like…well, I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a battle, but….”

“I have,” Zenyatta said softly. “It is not an experience I am happy to have, but I know what you mean. The subsonic roars of advancing Bastions is just as terrifying to those like myself who were designed to heal as it was to the humans that I was attempting to help.”

Jack shivered at the thought. Fuck, he hated those units. They were the worst to deal with. There was no stopping them once they got moving. They’d lost so many soldiers to those monstrosities and it pained him to even think about them.

“And…and sometimes my own thoughts trigger episodes,” he murmured softly as he looked down at his lap in shame.

“Your own thoughts?” Zenyatta asked.

Jack nodded. “It doesn’t take much. One off-hand thought and…and I remember…I remember Gabriel.”

His throat closed up and he covered his face. The chasm in his chested yawned wide and threatened to consume him. Reaper hopped carefully onto his shoulders and gently started preening his hair. Jack reached up and shakily started stroking over the wings, trying to ground himself.

“There is a great pain inside of you where this man is concerned,” Zenyatta said softly. “Who was this man to you, Jack?”

“The greatest man I ever knew,” Jack managed to whisper. “He was my friend, my commander, and my fiancée.”

“Ah,” Zenyatta let out a soft sigh. “Yes. Yes I see how thinking of him can cause you pain.”

His cool metal hands settled over Jack’s and gently squeezed. Jack nodded his head and slowly lifted it to meet Zenyatta’s face. He forced a smile to his face.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I don’t think I’ll be able to talk much.”

“That is alright, Jack,” Zenyatta soothed. “I have an alternative in mind. How would you like to learn how to meditate?”

“I…what?” Jack asked with a confused blink.

“Meditation can help strengthen your mind,” Zenyatta said. “If you are feeling overwhelmed, taking a moment to find your center can be more beneficial than some types of medication. It is a learned skill, but one that you can get better at with practice. Are you interested?”

“Yes,” Jack nodded.

If he could lay off the lorazepam that would be amazing. He was a little too dependent on the pill that he was only supposed to take when he was feeling overly anxious. He didn’t have the means to switch to a better daily medication and he didn’t want to think about what the pill was doing to his insides. If he could just sit down on his couch and meditate to get through his panic attacks that would be amazing. Wouldn’t replace medication entirely, but not having to rely solely on a pill would do him wonders.

Zenyatta nodded his head before guiding him through his meditation. He wasn’t very good at it; he kept interrupting himself by letting his mind wander to stupid little things, but Zenyatta did not scold him. He was incredibly understanding and offered a number of different ways to help him keep his focus.

“This is a disk I give out to my patients to help them meditate on their own,” Zenyatta said at the end of the session. “It will walk you through the steps needed to achieve inner peace. Do not feel frustrated with yourself if you do not get it right away. You are learning and every mistake is a step in the right direction so long as you do not give up.”

“Thank you, Zenyatta,” Jack smiled as he took the disk and helped Reaper back onto his arm.

“And I also have this for you,” Zenyatta smiled as he held out a card.

Jack took the card and read it over. He snapped his head up to gape at Zenyatta, unable to form words of gratitude. The card was an identification piece saying that Reaper was his personal stress owl. He felt tears burning his eyes and reached up to wipe them away.

“Thank you,” he murmured.

“Reaper’s tags and jacket should be arriving in the mail in a few days,” Zenyatta said. “I think he will look quite dashing in green.”

“Me too,” Jack chuckled as he rubbed Reaper’s belly. “What do you think, bud?”

Reaper clacked his beak and nipped at Jack’s finger. That was as close to a yes as he was going to get. He thanked Zenyatta again and left the room, stroking over Reaper’s belly as he walked and humming softly.

_‘Fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars.’_

* * *

 

Seeing Zenyatta was the best thing Jack ever did for himself. Gabriel could see the changes already with only a few weeks’ worth of sessions every Tuesday and Thursday. He was calmer and laughed more readily at Jesse’s jokes. He was more outgoing in his presentations and more willing to engage with the adults present than he had been before. He was going out on the weekend with Hanzo and Genji, enjoying meals at restaurants that he hadn’t been able to enjoy for years. Gabriel was with him the whole time, the weird green jacket signalling to everyone that he was a working owl. They got a few weird looks, but Jack was too busy enjoying life again to care.

He still had attacks where he would curl up on the floor and scream, but they were less frequent than before. He started keeping notes of when they happened and what he thought triggered them. Gabriel felt his heart plummet every time the words “thought of Gabriel” appeared on the page. He hated that he was causing his love so much pain, but he was thankful for Zenyatta.

“I think I’m ready to talk about Gabriel,” Jack murmured as he and Zenyatta finished their meditation.

“When you are ready,” Zenyatta nodded his head.

“Where do I even start?” Jack laughed as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Gabriel Reyes was the best thing that ever happened to me. We met in Germany when we were stationed at the same base. I like to think it was an instant attraction, but rose-tinted glasses and all that. Can’t really speak for him either.”

Gabriel clacked his beak gently at Jack. It was an instant attraction for him, you silly man. How could he not love the sight of Jack Morrison, the fucking Golden Boy of the base, hauling ass with someone slung over his shoulders because they had fucked up and needed medical assistance? How could he not love those sparkling blue eyes and those adorable farmboy freckles? How could he not want to kiss the tears away whenever he hid himself away when letters from family members showed up and there was nothing for him?

“I can’t even remember who asked who out first,” Jack sighed. You did; Gabriel was too scared of being rejected by the earth-bound angel. “But it was difficult to get started. He had a higher rank than me and that was always frowned upon when you worked so closely with other soldiers. But somehow we made it work. I think he pulled a few strings to get me transferred to his unit so we could work together.”

He did not, but that’s cute that you thought that. His superiors would have skinned him alive if he tried something like that.

“You worked well together?” Zenyatta asked.

“You were the fucking dream team,” Jack laughed. “Sorry about my language.”

“I live with Genji; I have heard much worse sworn in a number of languages,” Zenyatta twittered and covered his mouth. “Your profanity does not bother me, Jack. I find it an interesting quirk of language.”

“Right, so, our team became the shining stars on base,” Jack continued. “It was weird because everyone kept heaping the praise on me and I’d tell them to go tell Captain Reyes what they thought. Didn’t realize it was them being racist at the time until I told Gabe about it and he just sort of looked at me like I was dumb. I almost punched out the next guy that told me how amazing MY team was instead of how amazing GABE’S team was.”

He remembered that. Gabriel had been standing right there when the soldier had walked up. The only reason Jack hadn’t knocked the man flat on his ass was because Gabriel had been fast enough to grab Jack’s arms and haul him back. Jack had lost his mind on the man, screaming at him that he was a disgusting piece of trash for blatantly ignoring Gabriel’s rank and leadership skills because his skin wasn’t pasty white.

He believed that was the first time they had sex since they started dating. Maybe he was just remembering it fondly, but he was hard-pressed to find a time beforehand where he had reduced Jack to a mewling mess while bouncing him on his cock. Sure, there had been a few quick blowjobs here and there, but those didn’t really count as intimate when you were trying to satisfy a primal urge so you weren’t distracted by your SIC’s tight ass during training. No one wanted to be distracted when someone was lobbing paint-bombs at your head and Gabriel had been pegged in the head too many times by the damn things to run the risk.

Not that he would have minded if Jack stood in front of him the whole time. Jack had an amazing ass that seemed to fit perfectly in the palms of Gabriel’s hands. Did he grab and cup that fine hunk of muscle every chance he got? Yes, yes he did and he knew that Jack loved it too by the soft little noises he made every time Gabriel’s fingers kneaded into him.

“You were defensive of him,” Zenyatta chuckled.

“Not that he needed it,” Jack laughed. “Gabe was six-six and built like a brick shithouse! He could have easily knocked anyone into next week without even trying. He did on a number of drill practices when someone went too far and pissed him off. But he was a great captain, always looking out for everyone on his team. He never made anyone feel like they were inferior to anyone else regardless of what their rank was. ‘Your rank is determined by outside forces; I don’t care how many little stars are on your chest. I’ll dive right down into Hell itself to haul you back if I have to’.”

Jack looked down at his hands and a tear rolled down his cheek. Gabriel leaned forward to lick the tear away, tucking his head against Jack’s cheek. Jack’s fingers rolled gently over his head and he trilled happily at the touch.

“Gabriel was an amazing man,” Jack murmured. “He was promoted to Commander before we were shipped off to Indonesia and given full control of the battle strategies used against the uprising. We were waging a war unlike anything anyone had experienced before, but he was quick to learn and adapt his strategies long before the other commanders did.

“He led from the front. He was unwilling to put his soldiers through anything that he wasn’t willing to do himself. The other commanders hated him, called him a number of names that ranged from petty to racist, but he didn’t let that sway him. He was determined to get as many of us out alive as possible.”

Jack rubbed at his eyes and Gabriel did his best not to preen. Jack made him sound like a fucking gem. In truth, he’d had to make decisions that weren’t easy. He didn’t take any of them lightly, always weighing the lives of his soldiers against the end goal. He was not willing to sacrifice entire teams to get to an objective, but wars were not won without sacrifice. He just didn’t want to send his soldiers out to die when he could use their skills later.

“Shore-leave was hard to come by, but when we managed to slip away it was never far. Gabriel was always worried about the omnics sneaking up on our bases and liked being able to get back as quickly as he could. It was hard to get him to relax; wasn’t easy for me either; but when it was just the two of us in a little bar, it was…almost perfect.

“He proposed to me in one of those little bars in Thailand,” Jack murmured. “Had this little golden band that he’d been holding onto since he had to go back to America to talk to our superiors. It was, gods, it was surreal. I took forever to answer; I think I scared him for a few moments there. I was a stuttering mess and I started crying and nodding. I don’t think I’d ever felt as happy as I did in that moment; just thinking about spending the rest of my life with him was…it was unbelievable.”

Gabriel remembered that day perfectly. He remembered how badly his palms were sweating, how that little velvet case weighed down his pocket all day while he tried to find the perfect spot to propose. It had been under the glow of the moonlight in a little secluded area of the beach in Thailand somewhere; he didn’t remember where. That wasn’t the part that was important.

No, what had been important was the moonlight in Jack’s golden hair, the way his eyes looked longingly out at the ocean as they stood listening to music from further up the beach. He remembered Jack’s hand in his, the familiar weight of his head on Gabriel’s chest, and the soft sigh of a man in need of rest that would never be easy to find.

He had kissed Jack’s cheek and cupped his face in his hands, smiling down at him. Then, he had slowly gotten down on one knee, watching the look of shock overtake Jack’s face as he settled his weight evenly between one knee and one foot.

“You are my starlight, Jack Morrison,” he had said. “My morning light and my hope. I want to wake up every morning with you in my arms and fall asleep with your head pillowed on my shoulder. I want all of our petty arguments and the ones that cause us pain. I want you in all of your glory and flaws. Jack, will you marry me?”

Jack had started crying. He took forever to answer him, covering his face and just sobbing like his heart couldn’t take it. Gabriel had thought he’d fucked up until Jack let out a squeal and nodded his head rapidly.

“I’m sorry! I forgot to say yes!” he had laughed before hauling Gabriel to his feet to cover his face in kisses. “I’m so sorry! Yes, Gabriel! Yes!”

“That sounded like it was a very happy moment,” Zenyatta chuckled. “I did not think Gabriel could be romantic.”

“Gabriel liked to act like a tough guy,” Jack laughed softly. “But with me, it was like he was a totally different person. He laughed and…oh gods, he could sing like a choir of angels. Just listening to him used to make everyone tear up. And he’d sometimes bring a guitar with him when he sang, strumming along as we all listened.” Jack lowered his head. “I still have his guitar. I can’t play it. Not after….”

“I think you should,” Zenyatta soothed. He rested a hand over Jack’s and squeezed. “I think you should play it. The pain you feel for Gabriel has been left to fester instead of heal. You have tried to bury everything under a mountain of self-control so that you do not have to deal with the agony his loss caused you.”

“It hurts so much,” Jack whispered.

“I know, Jack,” Zenyatta soothed. “But sometimes we have to face what causes us the most pain in order to heal. I am not saying that it will be easy; it will not be. I do believe, however, that doing the things that made you and Gabriel happy will help. I expect that the guitar is out of tune now; have Jesse have a look at it. I’m sure he’ll have it tuned and ready for use quickly.”

“I’ll try,” Jack murmured.

“That is all I ask, Jack,” Zenyatta patted his hand. “I think that’s enough for one day. Thank you for trusting me with these memories.”

“Thank you for being patient with me,” Jack smiled as he got to his feet. “Reaper,” he added as he offered his gloved hand.

Gabriel hopped onto the hand and settled down contently. He watched Jack as he said his goodbyes to Zenyatta and started the walk back to the front of the building and then out to the car. He would have happily married Jack when the war was over. He would have happily retired from the army and taken his much needed and earned rest. He would have held Jack through the worst of his episodes.

There was only so much that wings and talons could do. He couldn’t hold Jack, he couldn’t kiss away the tears, but he could be there for him. His silent guardian that helped him pull through all on his own. Zenyatta was helping. Jesse and Hanzo were helping. Everyone that Jack was surrounding himself with now were helping. It was beautiful and perfect.

His Jack would be okay and that was all that mattered to him.

_‘In other words, I love you.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And feels in a different manner~ still sad because they were SO CLOSE to having their happy ending. You guys are going to CRY when you find out what happened to Gabe >3 I'm sitting here wiggling in delight and can't wait to post that chapter, but this one first.


	9. Chords From The Heart

Jack had to keep himself seated in the kitchen the whole time Jesse tuned Gabriel’s guitar. He was shaking with badly contained fury, digging his nails into his palms as Hanzo ran a hand soothingly over his back. He shouldn’t have been angry; he’d asked Jesse to tune the guitar for him; but the sight of anyone touching something that had meant the world to Gabriel left him seeing red.

Reaper was perched at his shoulder angrily clicking at him and pulling on his ear. He knew that if his companion could talk that he would be scolding him. He should not have been angry, silly flightless mate! The shaggy one was helping you. Calm your fur down before he tugged it out and gagged you with it.

“And I think that does it,” Jesse said as he set his tuner down. He strummed his fingers over the strings and the most beautiful sound filled the house. “Now that’s a sweet noise. That man of yours must have paid a pretty penny for something like this.”

“I think it was his grandfather’s,” Jack said as he got to his feet. “Thank you, Jesse. And…I’m sorry for my hostility.”

“No problem, Jack,” Jesse said as he set the guitar down gently on the coffee table. “I get it. Something this special to ya is a little difficult to trust in someone else’s hands.”

Jack sat down on the couch and stared at the guitar. This was a piece of Gabriel’s soul sitting on the coffee table. He wanted to hold it, but he was afraid to damage it. The beautiful craftsmanship showed in the detailed designs carved and painted into the face of the guitar. Swirls and starbursts decorated the white expanse, bleeding down into the black body to vanish amongst the grain.

“You aren’t going to break it,” Jesse soothed as Hanzo sat down on his other side. “Go on.”

Jack carefully picked up the guitar and settled it against his body. He closed his eyes, trying not to picture Gabriel at his side teaching him how to play. Tears burned his eyes as he carefully strummed his fingers across the strings while his fingers tried to remember the correct position on the neck. The first few notes sounded terrible, but as he pressed on, the familiar tune made his heart weep.

_‘And I love the way you look in a firefly glow._

_Saying everything without makin’ a sound,_

_A cricket choir in the background,_

_Underneath a harvest moon, standing on your shoes in my bare feet,_

_Dancing to the rhythm of your heartbeat.’_

Jack stopped and wiped at his eyes. Tears were pouring down his face, but the pain in his chest didn’t flare up as bad as it did the first time he’d held the guitar. It still hurt, but there was something soothing about holding something Gabriel cherished. Gabriel had taken time to teach him how to play the guitar and had made sure to include it in his will that it was to go to Jack if he passed away before his fiancée.

“That was beautiful,” Hanzo murmured as he leaned forward.

“It was only one verse,” Jack murmured softly. “I’d have to look up the rest of it.”

“Got a few songs I could teach ya,” Jesse grinned. “Have to run home to get my guitar, but I’d be more than willing to teach ya.”

“I’d like that,” Jack nodded.

“Okay; give me about a half-hour,” Jesse laughed as he got to his feet.

Reaper trilled from his favourite perch, peering down at them from the safety of his nest. He cocked his head to the side and looked at Jack as if wondering why he stopped playing. Jack chuckled as he started strumming the guitar again, racking his brain for any other song he knew.

He ended up practicing chords the whole time Jesse was gone. Hanzo looked up what the different notes were on Jack’s tablet, setting it up on the coffee table so he could see. He’d forgotten how to read sheet music, so it took him a little while to figure out what the different notes looked like. Then, slowly, everything started coming back to him and he played “Mary had a little lamb” without stumbling once. It was a simple piece, but he was still proud of himself.

“I’m back!” Jesse announced as he strutted into the house. “Did you miss me?”

“Always,” Hanzo teased as he lifted his hands to pull Jesse’s face down into a kiss. “Mmm, you had a cigar,” he added.

“Ssh, don’t let everyone know or they’ll want one too,” Jesse said in a stage whisper as he settled himself down on the couch. “Practicing?” he asked as he nodded to the tablet.

“Trying to remember what the chords are,” Jack nodded as he scooted over so there was enough room for the both of them and their guitars.

They spent the rest of the afternoon playing songs. Jesse knew a number of older song, ones that Jack had never heard of. “Smoke on the Water” quickly became his favourite, but “Fishing in the Dark” was adorably quirky. They looked up a couple of songs to try out and Jesse enjoyed “Back in Black” even if he shook his head at the lyrics.

When they left after supper, Jack felt emotionally drained, but happy. He set the guitar back in its customary place over the mantle, smiling at it as he ran his fingers over one of the starbursts. He let out a long sigh before he went to open the window for Reaper.

“We didn’t hurt your ears, did we?” he asked as Reaper landed on the perch in the kitchen.

Reaper nipped at Jack’s knuckle and cocked his head to the side. Jack chuckled and rubbed his knuckle over Reaper’s head.

“You have a good hunt, okay?” he crooned.

Reaper trilled before hopping out the window and flying off into the night.

* * *

 

Gabriel felt his heart soar every time Jack picked up the guitar to practice. His fingers got more and more sure of themselves as the month trickled by. The songs rolled easily off of the strings and filled the house with a sense of warmth that he hadn’t realized had been missing until the soft twang of his guitar started playing.

Jack started singing again too. His voice was deep and rich with the softest gravelly growl that carried through a room with ease. He sang mostly love ballads, turning to croon at Gabriel and smile. Gabriel wanted to cry each time “I love you” tumbled out of Jack’s mouth. It was beautiful and perfect and he was so happy for you, Jack! It was so good to see you smile again, _cariño_.

Jesse and Jack started playing together at the bar on Wednesday nights. There weren’t too many people there demanding drinks and everyone was eager to listen to the two of them play. It was beautiful to listen to with Jesse taking the more complex chords on bass and leaving Jack to play the rest. They couldn’t quite get their voices to harmonize, but between Jesse’s honeyed drawl and Jack’s deep baritone, they still sounded amazing.

“We have to have another party!” Lena laughed as Jack set his guitar back in its case.

“Mmm, might be able to pull it off two weeks from now,” Jesse mused as he cleaned a glass. “You interested in playing, Jack?”

Jack smiled and nodded his head. “That sounds like it would be a great time,” he mused. “There anything in particular that we should practice?”

“I’ll get a list going,” Lena promised as she picked up a tray of drinks. “I’ll have it to you by Friday, promise!”

Gabriel clacked his beak as he swallowed a chunk of chicken. He thought it was a good idea too. Between Zenyatta, the guitar lessons, and the suppers with his friends, Jack was starting to act like his old self. He would never be the exact same as he used to be, but that was good. He was older now; wiser, and stronger than the flitty social butterfly that would have been all over the bar without a question about personal space.

The next time they saw Zenyatta, Jack started talking about the explosion that changed his life. Gabriel stayed by his shoulder the whole time, pressing in close to gently brush the tears away with his cheek. His talons were squeezing tightly into Jack’s shoulder, letting him know that he was there to help keep him safe.

“We never knew the building was rigged to blow,” Jack said softly. “It was supposed to be a routine sweep; go in, check for hostiles, and get any civilians left in the area out to the evac point. Most of the omnics had already surrendered by now and it was the stragglers still kicking up trouble.”

He stopped and licked his lips, reaching up to wipe at his eyes. He clucked gently at Gabriel, smiling as he ran a finger under his beak. Grounding himself in reality.

“We went in just the two of us while the rest of the unit scouted the other buildings. Gabriel was ahead of me and I stopped to check something under a pile of rubble; don’t remember why. Think I might have seen something glint in a ray of light or something. That’s when I found the timer. I had enough time to get to my feet and scream at Gabriel to run and then...”

He closed his eyes and covered his face, hiccupping. Gabriel buried himself into Jack’s neck, closing his eyes as he felt Jack sob. He remembered this part and he wished that he didn’t.

“The whole building exploded,” Jack sobbed. “I don’t remember much of anything, but I know I was covered in blood. Gabriel had tackled me to the ground and used his body to shield me from the blast. We were trapped under the rubble for a day and he was dead when they pulled us out. I don’t know if he was alive shortly after the explosion or if he died right away. All I know is that he was dead when they pulled us out and I was covered in his blood.”

Gabriel had lived long enough to shift himself over Jack and stop any debris from crushing his beloved. Jack had been knocked out cold from the explosion, his face torn open from the shrapnel Gabriel hadn’t been able to block. There had been a wooden beam crushing his shoulders, nails digging into his back, and one long piece of something piercing through his chest and dripping blood onto the ground.

He remembered curling around Jack, pressing his cheek into that soft, golden blond hair. Tears had dripped down his face as his vision darkened. He didn’t have the strength to say goodbye, so he just held Jack tightly to him and prayed that his beloved was found.

Zenyatta bowed his head. “That is truly a traumatic experience, Jack,” he murmured. “I’m sorry that you lost him in such a horrific manner.”

Jack managed to nod his head as he sobbed. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye.”

Gabriel pressed himself closer to Jack, trilling softly to him. He pulled at his ear, wishing he could cry and hold Jack tightly. He’d do it all again if it meant he saved Jack’s life. He hadn’t even thought about how he was likely going to die; he just knew he wanted to save Jack and the best way had been to hold him down and shield him from the heat and debris.

“Ssh, ssh,” Jack sniffled as he stroked over Gabriel’s head. “I’m okay.”

Liar. You are a terrible liar, Jack Morrison. If he had arms he would crush you to his chest until you stopped lying. He pulled on Jack’s ear instead, hissing at him for the terrible lie.

“This was very brave of you, Jack,” Zenyatta soothed. He held one of the spinning orbs that circled his neck like prayer beads out to Jack. “This will help calm you down. This story was very difficult for you to tell me. I think a little bit of peace is warranted at the moment.”

Jack held out his hand for the orb. He shivered as it glowed blue in his palm and cradled it against his chest. Gabriel cocked his head curiously at the orb and Jack lifted it up for him to peck. The peace and warmth that rolled through him with the contact made him shiver as well. He snuggled into Jack’s shoulder, enjoying the warmth that radiated around them.

“I think we have made progress today,” Zenyatta said as he rested his hands on his legs. “I know it was hard to tell me how your fiancée died, but this will help you heal. And, if I may speak off topic and off the record, I am looking forward to you playing this weekend.”

Jack smiled and let out a soft snort of laughter. “I’m looking forward to it too,” he murmured. “I know that I thank you after every session, Zenyatta, but I really am grateful for your help. There no one I have ever felt able to talk to about Gabriel. Certainly not about his death.”

“Admitting our pain is not easy,” Zenyatta bowed his head. “I know it is doubly so with soldiers. The trust you have in me is exceptional and I thank you for letting me see the wounds you carry in your soul. I will do what I can to help you heal, Jack. You deserve happiness.”

They talked a little bit about the medication Jack was using and Zenyatta wrote a refined prescription to help him managed his anxiety. They left shortly afterwards, Jack still wiping at his eyes as Gabriel snuggled against his cheek. It was going to be okay, Jack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of fluff and then I CARVE YOUR HEARTS OUT. Was it how you expected Gabe to die? Or was it much, much worse? Direct your tears to the closest Tear Jar and send them over. I need all the fuel.
> 
> You'll also notice that I added another chapter to the limit. I needed to extend it because I didn't like where I left off, but the new ending is much better~


	10. In Other Words, I love You

Jack did his best not to bounce his nose off the microphone every time he moved to sing into it. It was exceptionally difficult to do when he kept losing track of where his head sat when he wasn’t focusing on his fingers. No one seemed to mind in the slightest, cheering and shouting for encore after encore. Hana had tried to lend him her bright pink electric guitar so that he could “jam out” properly, but he wouldn’t be parted from Gabriel’s guitar.

He finished singing “Seasons in the Sun” and stood up. “Jesse, water,” he laughed as he made his way to the bar.

Jesse had a glass of water waiting for him beside Reaper. Jack clucked softly at his companion, reaching out to stroke the soft belly feathers. Reaper let out a weak trill, barely opening his eyes as he swayed on his perch.

“You don’t look so good,” Jack murmured. “What’s wrong?”

If Reaper was sick, he was in trouble. Birds were notoriously good at hiding any illness until it was too late. As far as he knew, Reaper had never been sick a day in his life. Now though, he looked horrible. His plumage was dull and his eyes had a glassy look to them when he could open them. He was swaying on his perch, clicking his beak and not even hissing at Hana when she got close to him.

“Ain’t any vet clinics open on a Sunday,” Jesse murmured as he ran a finger slowly down Reaper’s spine. “I can get him a little box to lie down in if you want.”

“That might be better than falling off of his perch,” Jack sighed as he watched Reaper slowly open his eyes. “I hope you aren’t sick, bud. You looked fine when we got here.”

Was that a tired smile on Reaper’s face? It looked like one, but it must have been Jack’s imagination. Jesse returned with a small wooden crate lined with clean dish towels at the bottom. Reaper hopped gratefully into it when Jesse offered it to him, settling down in the nest and tucking his head under his wing.

Jack sipped his water, stroking over Reaper’s head. He barely responded to the touch outside of a soft chirp. Lena zipped over to see how Reaper was doing, crooning at him as he lifted his head.

“Jack, he’s doing that hacking thing,” Lena commented.

“I’ll take him outside,” Jack smiled as he gently scooped Reaper up.

He carried Reaper outside and let him hack his pellet near the trees. Reaper hopped miserably around where Jack set him down, poking the pellet he had hacked up. It was a piddly little thing, really not a good sign at all considering how large Reaper’s pellets usually were. This one barely looked like Reaper had digested anything.

“What did you get into, Reaper?” he asked as he gently picked his companion up. “Don’t you go keeling over on me. You’ll break my little heart.”

Reaper nipped at his chin and tucked his head into Jack’s chest. He sighed and stroked his fingers over the dull feathers as he walked back inside. He set Reaper down in his little crate and stroked a finger over his head.

“Jack! Jack, please sing again,” Hana squealed as she hurried over. “Please? That really sweet Country song about a heartbeat?”

Jack looked at Reaper and shook his head. “No, Hana, not tonight,” he said as he gently picked the crate up. “I’m going to head home. If Reaper’s sick, this place isn’t going to help him. He needs some quiet.”

“I’ll come with you,” Hanzo said as he collected Jack’s guitar and put it away. “You’ll need both hands to care for him.”

“Thank you,” Jack smiled as he carried Reaper towards the door, crate and all.

Everyone said their goodbyes as they walked past. Lena clicked and cooed over Reaper, telling him to get better or they were all going to cry. Jack led the way out to the car and Hanzo opened the back door for him. He strapped Reaper’s crate into one of the seats and kissed his head.

“We’re going home, buddy,” he soothed.

Reaper clicked his beak and settled down in the crate nest. His eyes were closed and he looked like he was in a lot of pain. His poor darling; he was going to have to suffer until the next day when he could run him to a veterinary clinic. He ran his knuckle over Reaper’s cheek before he went around the car to the driver’s seat.

The ride home was quiet. Jack constantly checked on Reaper in the rear-view, but he couldn’t tell if he was getting better or worse. Hanzo didn’t offer any advice, but he did glance back on occasion to check on Reaper. He looked worried, but he kept his opinions to himself; Jack was grateful for that. He was panicking enough without someone else pointing out what might be wrong with Reaper.

“He’ll be okay,” Hanzo murmured as Jack pulled into his driveway. “He’s a tough little owl.”

“Yah, he is,” Jack agreed as he turned the car off.

He carried Reaper and his crate inside, cooing to his companion. Reaper chirped softly, lifting his head weakly off of his chest. He flapped his wings twice before hunkering back down into his makeshift nest shaking.

“Oh, Reaper,” Jack murmured as he set the crate on the table and gingerly picked his owl up. “Oh baby, what’s wrong?”

Reaper snuggled against his chest, chirping softly as Hanzo flicked the lights on. Jack stroked over Reaper’s head, rocking him gently in his arms as he did his best not to start crying. It felt like Reaper was dying in his arms.

“Please, please don’t leave me,” he whispered as he held his companion. “I need you, Reaper. Don’t leave.”

Reaper flinched in his arms and let out a long shriek. Jack yelped as he was struck in the face by a flailing wing, releasing his grip on Reaper. His companion glided to the ground and flopped over, shrieking and flailing in unnatural angles. Jack watched in confusion, looking at Hanzo but finding no comfort in Hanzo’s confused features.

Reaper twisted around and his back arched upwards. He shrieked in agony, wings beating the ground as his talons clawed over the hardwood panels. Jack moved forward, reaching for his companion.

“Ssh, Reaper,” he tried to sooth. “Ssh, I’m here.”

Reaper’s shoulders bunched up and he seemed to balloon outwards. Jack stumbled back, landing hard on his backside as he stared in horror. Reaper flopped across the floor, shrieking as his wings snapped and popped. His talons twisted and Jack’s eyes widened as they appeared to separate into toes; human toes.

Reaper vomited up a barely formed pellet, gagging loudly as his shriek turned human. Hands appeared from under his wings and he reached up to claw at his face and throat. His body continued to grow, twisting and bulging unnaturally.

“Reaper,” Jack pushed himself forward and grasped at dark hands. “Look at me!”

Reaper’s black eyes regarded him out of a bone-white mask that looked identical to his companion. The owl-turned-man continued shaking and twitching as they reached up to pull the mask off. They sucked in a deep breath and hacked hard, giving a full body shake as they tried to dislodge whatever was caught in their throat. Jack shook as he reached up to hold Reaper’s face, not believing his eyes.

“Gabriel?” he whispered.

A pained smile passed over Gabriel’s face before he let out a soft croak. He cleared his throat, shaking his head in distaste and spat a mouthful of fur onto the ground.

“Well that’s disgusting,” Jack shuddered.

“I’ve been doing that for four years,” Gabriel croaked. “Never again.”

Jack disbelief and shock was replaced with anger and he lashed out. His fist connected squarely with Gabriel’s jaw and his fiancée jerked to the side. He reached up to rub the abused jaw and shot Jack an amused smirk.

“Still haven’t lost that amazing right hook,” he said.

“You were here this whole time!” Jack snarled as tears built up in his eyes. “You were here the whole time and you let me think you were an owl! I had to bring your body back, Gabriel!”

“I know,” Gabriel murmured as he gently cupped Jack’s face in his hands. “I know, _mi luna_. I wanted to tell you, I really did, but….”

“But what?” Jack snarled as he grabbed Gabriel’s hands and squeezed tightly.

“He would have been lost to you forever,” Hanzo said softly.

Jack looked at his friend before he surged to his feet. “You knew,” he snarled. “You knew all along and you never said anything!”

“I did know,” Hanzo inclined his head. “And like I said; if something was said to you, you would have lost him forever.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Jack snapped.

“Is there not a tale or two in the old mythologies about lovers desperate to be reunited after death and having seemingly foolish parameters set about them?” Hanzo asked as he got a glass of water and set it on the counter for Gabriel. “This is no different.”

“And how do you know this?” Jack demanded as Gabriel leaned on the counter and gulped the water down eagerly.

“I was in a similar situation once,” Hanzo murmured. “The body you see before you was not my original one. That one lies rotting in the ground somewhere across the sea in Japan. I regained my form when my charge no longer needed the comforts offered by his pet. He was able to forgive himself for something that was outside of his control and begin to heal.”

“Is that why I got Gabriel back?” Jack asked softly. “Because I didn’t need Reaper anymore?”

“I believe so,” Hanzo nodded.

“Are you disappointed?” Gabriel asked softly.

He brushed the edges of his feathered cloak aside and ran a hand down his scarred arm. Jack watched him closely before he shifted closer. He ran his fingers gently under Gabriel’s chin and tipped his handsome features towards him.

“Gabriel, I would give anything to have you back in my life,” he whispered. “I don’t care what form you were in and I’m sorry for punching you.”

“I sort of deserved it,” Gabriel chuckled as he leaned into Jack’s hand. “Come here.”

Jack smiled as he was pulled in close to Gabriel’s chest. He pressed his face against Gabriel’s neck, inhaling the rich, familiar scent. He wrapped his arms around Gabriel’s chest, tucking himself in against the strong body as Gabriel’s big arms encircled him.

“I’m never letting you go again,” Gabriel whispered. “I love you, Jack. I love you so much.”

“Then you’d better fucking marry me,” Jack teased. “I kept the rings, asshole. Your mother wanted you buried with yours, but I slipped it off before she could notice. She called me a number of nasty names for ‘turning her _m’ijo_ gay’ so I thought it was justified.”

“It was,” Gabriel agreed as he tipped Jack’s head up to kiss him. “I will gladly marry you, Jack Morrison. We just have to work out how we’re writing our name.”

“Reyes,” Jack said without hesitation. “It sounds better.”

Gabriel smiled at him and his barn owl eyes crinkled. “ _Mi luna_ ,” he whispered before he kissed him again.

Jack balled his fists into Gabriel’s shirt and tugged him closer. He wasn’t going to be parted from him again.

* * *

 

Gabriel was exhausted and he knew that Jack was too. Hanzo took his leave after promising Gabriel that he would help him get new identification papers, social insurance number, and driver’s license. It was more than he had expected and he couldn’t express his gratitude properly. Hanzo smiled and reassured him that it was nothing.

Gabriel wondered how many times Hanzo had done this exact same thing to a number of different people. Was this part of his purpose now? Was he just determined to help out whoever was willing to accept his help? He didn’t think he could ever repay the man properly for everything he had done for him and Jack.

When Hanzo left, Jack locked the door behind him and turned out the lights after Gabriel cleaned up the remains of the pellet he had thrown up. Jack offered his hand to Gabriel, and he took it. He gently raised it to his lips, kissing along the soft knuckles until Jack stepped in against his chest. He tipped Jack’s head back and kissed him. It was a warm kiss, one he wanted to give Jack hope and comfort rather than try to entice him with ulterior motives. He was too exhausted to do anything but crawl into bed and sleep the rest of the night away.

They walked up the stairs together and slowly got changed out of their clothing. Jack shyly dug out a pair of Gabriel’s old pajama bottoms and held them out. Gabriel smiled, not bothering to mention that he knew that Jack kept them and wore them from time to time when he was feeling overwhelmed. They weren’t as comfortable as the ones that had been made into the nest on the cat-tree, but they would serve just fine until he could go buy himself a new wardrobe.

They crawled into bed and fell asleep in each other’s arms. The sweet tang of Jack’s shampoo filled his dreams with pleasant images and he hoped that Jack’s dreams were just as sweet. They woke to someone ringing the doorbell at an ungodly hour and Gabriel growled as he wrapped his arms tightly around Jack.

“Don’t get up,” he huffed into Jack’s ear.

“Mmm, don’t wanna,” Jack agreed. “Seven in the fucking morning; they can damn well come back at a decent hour.”

“Mmm,” Gabriel growled as he pulled Jack closer to him.

The doorbell rang three times in rapid succession and they both rose with an irritated snarl. Jack grabbed his housecoat and threw it over his shoulders, toeing his slippers on as he padded out of the room. Gabriel followed behind him, bristling with tired anger. Who the fuck rang the doorbell this early in the God-damn morning?! And that many times when it was obvious that they weren’t going to answer?

Blaire apparently did, the bitch. Jack glared at her as he opened the door, making sure to block Gabriel from sight. Gabriel would respect his fiancée’s desire to keep him secret for now, but there was no way he was going to let Blaire bully his love. She said one thing out of line and he was stepping in and setting her straight. Then potentially booting her ass back to her car.

“It’s seven in the fucking morning,” Jack growled. “What the fuck do you want?”

“I came to apologize,” Blaire sighed. “It was wrong to speak to you the way we did. You’re in a lot of pain and we should be there for you.”

“Little late for the apology,” Gabriel growled as he leaned on the doorframe. He looped an arm around Jack’s waist and growled down at the woman. “Fuck off.”

Blaire stared at him in fear before she looked at Jack. “Who is this?” she whispered. “Who have those…those people introduced you to?”

Jack pressed himself back into Gabriel’s bare chest and tipped his head back to smile up at him. “This is my fiancée,” he said proudly.

“Your WHAT?!” Blaire shrieked. “How long have you known him?!”

“Years,” Jack laughed as Gabriel looped his other arm around Jack’s chest and pulled him in close.

“Years,” Gabriel agreed. “I just got back last night. Now, if you don’t mind, _puta_ , we’re going back to bed. Kindly move your ass off of the doorstep and don’t bother coming back.”

“Excuse me?” Blaire demanded as she tried to take a step forward. “That’s my fri-!”

“Friend?” Gabriel growled as he lowered his head and cocked it slowly to the side. It was a very owl thing to do and with his black eyes, he could just image how it looked on a human. “You were never a friend to Jack. You were always just a bitch that manipulated someone with a good heart to do whatever you wanted. Don’t think you can show up on his doorstep at this ungodly hour after two months and think that you can just walk back into his life.”

Blaire opened her mouth to argue and Gabriel leaned forward. He had no idea if this was going to work or not, but it would be worth it to watch Blaire piss herself. He sucked in a deep lungful of air and let out a blood-curdling screech. Jack flinched against his chest, staring at him in disbelief as the very owlish noise left him. Blaire stumbled backwards in shock, looking from Gabriel to Jack before she beat a hasty retreat to her car.

She didn’t look back as she drove off and Gabriel lifted his head proudly. “Let’s hope that’s the last we ever see of that bitch,” he purred.

“Please never make that noise again,” Jack shivered as he closed the door. “That was so disturbing.”

“I won’t,” Gabriel promised before he scooped Jack up into his arms. “Now, I think there’s a nice warm bed calling our name, hmm?”

Jack clung to him before letting out a long laugh and kissing him. “I do believe there is, Mr. Reyes.”

Gabriel purred softly as he returned the kiss and carried his fiancée up the stairs to the bedroom. Jack dropped his housecoat and slippers on the ground before they crawled back into bed and snuggled against each other. They had no plans for the day and had no intention of moving out of bed until they were good and ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *pushes collection of tears into corner* There, are you guys happy now? See, all the pain was worth it~ Normally, I would say that I only do happy endings and then I remembered that I'd posted a Halloween story that was bittersweet and now I'm going "y'all can't trust me at all!" Enjoy your boy Gabi again because he's sticking around this time. He just has black owl eyes instead of his brown ones. Scary~


	11. The Next Morning

Jack woke to the smell of bacon. He stretched himself out on the bed, sighing softly at the memories of the dream he’d had. Reaper turning into Gabriel; what had Jesse given him instead of water last night? He chuckled softly at the dream, rubbing his eyes. No tears; Zenyatta will be happy to hear that a dream about Gabriel did not leave him in pieces.

He sat up and stretched, yawning widely as he went to retrieve his slippers and his housecoat. Reaper was likely keeping Jesse company downstairs, maybe pretending to read the paper over Hanzo’s shoulder. It would be business as usual. He let out a long sigh and slowly padded out of his room.

“Don’t you burn anything,” he called teasingly as he leaned on the banister and rubbed at his eyes.

“I haven’t burned anything in my life and I’m not about to start now,” a familiar voice called back.

Jack’s heart stuttered and he snapped his head up. He stared at the expansion of dark flesh across the massive man’s shoulders. His heart thumped painfully against his ribs as he counted the familiar scars across the wide shoulders. No, no he had to still be dreaming.

“You like scrambled eggs, right?” the man called over his shoulder. “Can’t fucking remember if you ate any in the last four years. Brain’s still a little fuzzy on details this early in the morning.”

“Gabriel?” Jack whimpered.

The man turned off the stove and dumped steaming, fluffy eggs onto two plates before he turned around. Black barn owl eyes stared back at him from Gabriel’s face. They were narrowed in a frown as he cleaned his hands off on a towel.

“What’s wrong, _mi amor_?” he asked.

“This…this,” Jack whispered before he painfully pinched himself.

He whimpered at the pain before he rushed down the stairs, almost tripping over his feet. It wasn’t a dream. It wasn’t a dream. Gabriel was real! His fiancée really was back and it wasn’t just the delusions of a frazzled mind.

“Jack,” Gabriel chuckled as he opened his arms wide. “Oh, _mi luna_ , did you think that last night was nothing more than a dream?”

Jack threw himself into Gabriel’s waiting arms and nodded his head against Gabriel’s chest. He inhaled his fiancée’s scent, feeling a thousand memories spring to the forefront of his mind. He let out a weak sob and pressed himself closer to Gabriel’s solid frame. Strong arms wrapped tightly around him, holding him close.

“Ssh, don’t cry, Jack,” Gabriel rumbled. “I’m here.”

“I never,” Jack whimpered as he clung to Gabriel.

“Me neither,” Gabriel sighed happily against his hair. “But the eggs are getting cold and from what I can recall, eggs are horrible cold.”

Jack laughed in spite of himself and pulled away to punch Gabriel’s shoulder. “You would think with your damn stomach!” he teased.

“I’ve been stuck eating furry things for the last four years,” Gabriel shuddered. “Give a man some credit for not cleaning your fridge out the second he woke up this morning.”

Jack watched Gabriel walk over to the plates and pick them up, balancing a bowl full of soft bacon on his arm. Jack stepped out of the way as Gabriel walked past him, smiling happily as he set everything down on the table. Jack grabbed forks and glasses, setting them down quickly before going to get the orange juice.

He sat down beside Gabriel and managed to eat a few mouthfuls of eggs before he reached out to hold Gabriel’s right hand. Gabriel tore off a chunk of bacon and chewed it slowly, rolling his hand over to interlace their fingers together. His hand dwarfed Jack’s, encircling it in a wall of flesh that sent shivers all the way down his spine.

“I missed you,” Jack whispered. “I can’t believe that you were here the whole time.”

“I know,” Gabriel murmured as he set his fork down. He wiped his hand on his pajama pants before reaching over to tip Jack’s jaw up so he could kiss him. “I wanted to tell you, I really did, but do you know how hard it is to do anything with a beak and didactic talons? Can’t hold a pencil and write with it and don’t even get me started on the touch sensitivity of your tablet. I must have damn near put my beak through the screen a few dozen times before giving up.”

Jack laughed softly and reached up to run his fingers through Gabriel’s tangled locks. “Oh, I can just imagine, my winged death-machine,” he crooned.

Gabriel let out a soft trill before he leaned in for another kiss. Jack let out a content sigh against Gabriel’s cheek just as someone knocked on the door. Gabriel lifted his head slowly and bristled.

“If that’s that fucking bitch again,” he growled as he started to get to his feet.

“Knock, knock,” Jesse called as he pushed the door open after checking to see if it was locked. “How’re my favourite lovebirds doing?”

Gabriel relaxed back into his chair and inclined his head. “Having breakfast,” he called.

“Fun night?” Jesse grinned as he walked in, Hanzo, Genji, and Zenyatta filtering in behind him.

“We slept,” Jack shook his head as he got to his feet. “Figured you’d still be fast asleep.”

“Hanzo was insistent that we get here at a decent time,” Jesse shrugged as he pulled Jack into a big hug. “I’ve got a full pot of coffee in me so sorry if I start vibrating across the floor.”

“Nothing that we aren’t used to with you, Jesse,” Gabriel chuckled. “Zenyatta, Genji.”

“Greetings, Gabriel,” Zenyatta inclined his head. “I will admit that I was very surprised to learn that you were Reaper this whole time. My knowledge of spirit animals is limited to what Hanzo and Genji have been able to tell me.”

“Don’t look at me for answers,” Gabriel shook his head. “I don’t know what was going on half the time.”

“Well, at least you could fly,” Genji grinned. “Hanzo was stuck in an apartment when he wasn’t in his vivarium.”

“Wait, what?” Jack demanded as he turned around. “I figured you were Jesse’s guardian.”

“Nope,” Genji grinned as Hanzo sat down next to him and shook his head. “He was my pet bearded dragon for what, five years?”

“Six,” Hanzo sighed as he rubbed at his throat. “I drowned saving Genji from falling into a river in winter while we were on a hike.”

“I blamed myself for years,” Genji murmured as he squeezed Hanzo’s hand. “I broke all ties with the family and moved away from home at the mature age of twenty. I struggled for years to make ends meet, but I had my little Storm to keep me company.”

“Did you know this was going to happen?” Gabriel asked as he motioned to himself.

“I did not,” Hanzo shook his head. “There is no sure way to know what will happen when a charge no longer needs their guardian. I have seen just as many fade away and leave an intelligent animal in their wake as I have seen regain their human form. Even then, you will notice that you are not entirely human. Your eyes are still that of a barn owl.”

“What did you keep?” Jack asked as he sat down beside Gabriel and laced their fingers together in his lap.

“The spines,” Hanzo sighed as he swept his hair back across his neck.

Running along his neck were sharp, barb-like spines. Jesse leaned down to kiss over them, nuzzling his face into Hanzo’s hair as his husband let out a soft gasp and tried to push him away.

“He can also flare out his throat when he gets pissy,” Genji snickered. “It’s hilarious.”

“Gabriel can still screech,” Jack sighed. “As Blaire found out this morning.”

“Wait, that bitch showed up here?” Jesse demanded.

“Yup,” Gabriel growled. “So I told her to piss off and screeched at her.”

“I never want to hear that noise again,” Jack shivered as he shifted closer to Gabriel.

“I’ll refrain unless I feel threatened,” Gabriel promised as he kissed the top of Jack’s head. “ _Lo prometo_.”

Jack let out a long sigh as he leaned his weight on Gabriel’s chest. Gabriel’s arm wrapped loosely around his hip and he saw the amused looks passed between their guests. It wasn’t going to be easy to get back into what they had, especially since Jack’s entire form of income just shrivelled down to a paltry veteran’s allowance. He knew that they could make it work though; he had not just spent the last four years missing Gabriel to throw any chance at having him back in his life out the window because of a few hardships.

“So, when’s the wedding?” Jesse grinned. “Weren’t you two engaged before everything went to hell?”

Jack blushed and looked at Gabriel. “I’d just be happy to go to the county clerk’s office and sign the papers there,” he murmured shyly.

“I’d like that too,” Gabriel admitted. “Isn’t like our families are going to go out of their way to come find us.”

Jack smiled and leaned up to kiss his fiancée. Yes, they could definitely make this work. 

* * *

 

“How strange do I look?” Gabriel asked as he pulled his feathery coat over himself.

“Very,” Jack smiled as he smoothed the shoulders out. “But still handsome.”

Gabriel smiled and kissed Jack’s lips. “Well, that’s good,” he teased.

Jack rubbed their noses together before they headed for the car. Hanzo had been kind enough to get some clothing delivered to the house for Gabriel, but he hadn’t been able to track down a suitable jacket to replace the one that had been Gabriel’s wings. Call him sentimental, but he couldn’t bear to be parted with the thing even if he did look like something out of a nineteenth-century horror story.

They drove in silence, Gabriel’s hand resting on Jack’s thigh near his knee. Jesse had insisted that everyone close to them know what happened to Reaper and why a huge, incredibly intimidating man was suddenly living with Jack and snuggling with him every chance he got. Gabriel agreed that it was a good idea; he didn’t want to scare Lena away because he looked like he could snap her neck without trying. He didn’t want Jack to lose the friends he had made because they were suddenly scared to get near him; that wasn’t what he wanted at all.

Every head snapped towards them as they walked in into the bar. Lena’s eyes widened in alarm and she covered her mouth. Lúcio’s jaw opened in disbelief as he watched Gabriel approach. Hana looked like she was ready to bolt for the closest exit. Gabriel shot Jack an amused look before he squinted at Lena playfully.

“I believe I’m supposed to have a crown, zippy one,” he said.

Lena stared at him before she grinned widely and threw herself at him. “HOLY SHIT!” she squealed as she hugged Gabriel tightly. “I didn’t think Jesse was serious! I mean, I knew about Hanzo because I’m friends with Genji, but I didn’t think that he was serious! You wait right here and I will get you your crown, King Reaper!”

Gabriel laughed as Lena hurried off and settled himself down at the table beside Jack. He slipped his arm out of the sleeve of his coat and tossed it over Jack’s shoulder, pulling him in close to nuzzle the side of his head.

“Uh, guess this explains why you didn’t like me too much, huh?” Lúcio laughed nervously. “Not really an owl at all.”

“You also didn’t have a clue how to keep your arm steady,” Gabriel said with a raised eyebrow. “And I didn’t hate you. I simple preferred it when Jack was handling me.”

“Hearing you say that sounds incredibly wrong,” Jack mused as he rested his cheek on Gabriel’s shoulder.

“So what was your excuse with me?” Hana demanded as she slapped her hands on the table. “I never treated you poorly! I was probably one of your biggest fans!”

“You called me cute,” Gabriel smirked as Lena set his crown on his head. He push it back a little bit so it wasn’t tugging uncomfortably on his curls. “I could not allow you to think that was appropriate.”

“Seriously?” Hana pouted. “You are like fifty and you act like a child!”

“Forty-three, actually,” Gabriel rubbed at his beard. “And I think I look amazing.”

“You do,” Jack murmured.

“ _Mi sol_ ,” Gabriel trilled as he kissed over Jack’s scars, “you think I look amazing regardless of what I look like.”

“I haven’t lied yet,” Jack smiled as he pressed himself against Gabriel’s chest.

Gabriel ran his fingers through Jack’s graying hair, pushing with his nails as if he were preening. He saw the small tremor run through his fiancée’s body before he clambered into Gabriel’s lap and pushed his head under Gabriel’s jaw. Gabriel cooed softly, holding his beloved close as he kissed gently down the side of his face.

“Ssh, Jack,” he soothed as he held him close. “Ssh.”

“I loved it when you preened me,” Jack whispered. “It always made me smile.”

“I loved preening you too, my silly wingless mate,” Gabriel teased as he rubbed his cheek against Jack’s.

Jack let out a soft laugh as he reached up to cup Gabriel’s cheek. They stared into each other’s eyes for a few long minutes before gently kissing. Gabriel’s hand pressed up against the back of Jack’s head, holding him close.

“They’re so cute,” Hana whined as she slumped on the table. “I think my teeth are rotting out of my head! Two gay old men should not be this cute!”

Gabriel shot her a look as Jack tucked his face back into Gabriel’s chest. “What did I say about calling me cute?” he asked.

“This from the grown man that is sitting with a tiny crown meant for an owl on his head,” Hana smirked.

Gabriel arched an eyebrow before he leaned back in his chair, doing his best not to smirk as Jack clung to him in surprise. He propped his boots up on the table and rest his cheek on his knuckles.

“You do know that ‘Reyes’ means ‘Kings’ in Spanish, correct?” he asked as he tapped the little crown. “So it is not unwarranted.”

“And this guy won the war for us,” Hana covered her face. “Oh my gawd, we had a dork commanding our soldiers.”

“Still won, didn’t we?” Jesse said as he set a scotch down in front of Jack. “So, what can I get you, _hermoso_?”

“Rum and coke,” Gabriel smiled as Jack shifted to pull his drink towards him. “Aren’t you happy that you don’t have to keep fresh chicken on hand anymore?”

“I don’t know; I think you were my most appreciative customer,” Jesse laughed as he went to get Gabriel his drink.

Jack pulled the jacket closer around them as he settled back against Gabriel’s chest. He tipped his head back, smiling up at Gabriel. Gabriel trilled softly and brushed his nose against the side of Jack’s face, ignoring Hana’s whining. He had four years and six months’ worth of time to make up for; he was going to make sure that Jack knew how much he loved him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry but, "I forgot what happened last night/earlier" is probably one of my favourite things XD so yes, the end of Jack's part was the original ending but I didn't like it so you get more~ enjoy every one.
> 
> And you all thought Hanzo was Jesse's guardian! NOPE! He was Genji's. Don't worry, I have their story all hashed out and it just needs to be edited a few times. You thought Gabriel died horrifically? *cackles*
> 
> ...there is something very wrong with me :/


	12. I'll Love you Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be warned; there is heavy smut in this chapter. Skip over it if you aren't comfortable reading that sort of thing.

Gabriel knew that Hanzo was a businessman; he just hadn’t expected him to have a fucking country house the size of a small country club. It was the perfect venue for the “after-wedding party” as Jesse had lovingly put it. Jesse had gone all out and covered his truck in every stereotypical “just married” item he could find and met them outside the county office to drive them to the country house.

Gabriel had doubled over laughing at the sight while Jack just covered his face to hide his silent laughter. Genji was sitting in the front seat with a camera, grinning ear-to-ear as he took picture after picture as they hauled themselves into the truck.

“You must kiss!” Genji whined. “I didn’t get to see you kiss when you signed the papers!”

“What makes you think we kissed in front of anyone?” Gabriel teased as he tipped Jack’s chin back to kiss him.

“EEE!” Genji squealed as he started taking pictures. “YES! I love happy endings!”

“Hardly an ending,” Gabriel tutted as he held Jack close to his side.

Jesse and Genji walked them out into the backyard where the party was set up and everyone held their breath. Jack looked up at Gabriel excitedly before he hurried forward to show off his ring. Everyone cheered and squealed in delight, gushing about how beautiful the simple band was. Jack shot Gabriel a wide smile before he pulled the ring off and showed the engraving on the inside.

 _‘Te amaré por siempre_ ’; I’ll love you forever.

“Gabriel’s has the same engraving,” Jack said as Lena squealed in delight. “I thought it was fitting to add after everything that’s happened.”

“Gabe! Gabe, let me see yours!” Lena shouted as she hurried over to him. “Please!”

Gabriel lifted his hand so that Lena could stare in awe at the gold and silver band on his left hand. The rest of the kids crowded around to squeal over the craftsmanship, leaving Jack to accept all the hugs and kisses from Ana and Reinhardt. Gabriel caught Hanzo’s eye and nodded; time to start in with the surprises.

“Jack,” Gabriel called as he waved for his husband.

Husband; even thinking the word made him feel all warm and mushy inside. Jack was his _husband_. He had assumed Gabriel’s last name and proudly purred “Jack Reyes” when they’d signed the papers. Not Reyes-Morrison or Morrison-Reyes; Reyes. He tried his best not to preen, but he hadn’t been able to stop when Jack had squeezed his hand and smiled up at him.

“What?” Jack laughed as he trotted over.

Gabriel kissed him and squeezed his hands. “Have a seat,” he smiled as he gestured to one of the benches Hanzo had set out.

Jack lifted an eyebrow in amusement as he sat down. “I’m not wearing a garter, Gabe,” he teased. “You can’t whip it at Genji’s head.”

“Ha, ha,” Gabriel shook his head and kissed those beautiful lips.

His husband’s lips. Dear lords, his _husband’s lips_.

Hanzo came back into the garden with his hand around the collar of an eager white German Shepherd. It perked its ears forward as it spotted Jack and immediately stopped pulling to get away. Hanzo released the dog’s collar and the shepherd trotted up to Jack and rested his head on Jack’s leg.

“Well, hello,” Jack blinked in awe as he ran his fingers through the beautiful white fur. “How did you get here?”

“A little bit of string pulling,” Gabriel smiled. “Zenyatta and I have been looking for a suitable replacement for Reaper since he, well, flew the coop.”

Jack gave him an amused smirk before he blinked. “Wait,” he murmured before he looked down at the shepherd. He covered his mouth before he slipped off of the bench and started running his fingers through the white fur. “Oh, oh Gabe,” he whimpered before hugging the service dog close. “He’s perfect. What’s his name?”

“Daredevil,” Gabriel smirked.

“Daredevil,” Jack crooned as he ran his fingers through the dog’s fur. He sat down on the ground and patted his thighs. “Come here, Daredevil,” he added.

Daredevil dutifully placed his front paws and head in Jack’s lap, thumping his tail slowly against the ground. Jack blinked tears from his eyes as he stroked over his dog’s head.

“Did you purposefully go looking for a German Shepherd?” Jack asked softly.

“You did always love them the most of all the dogs that worked with us,” Gabriel smiled. “And your dog growing up was one too, right?”

“Yes,” Jack smiled. “Soldier was white too. Thank you, _mi amor_. This is a wonderful wedding gift.”

“There’s one more,” Gabriel smirked as he patted his back pockets looking for his wallet. “Where did I put that damn thing?”

“I swear, if you whip out adoption papers I am going to cry,” Jack warned him as he wiped at his face.

“We already have Lena; we don’t need more kids,” Gabriel teased.

“Hey!” Lena pouted. “I’m a full-grown woman, thank you!”

“Lena, I was three nights away from dropping dead mice on you,” Gabriel smirked as he found his wallet. “You’re practically our kid at this point.”

Lena opened her mouth to argue before she tipped her head to the side. “Okay, you do have a point,” she mused. “So when do I get care-packages from my dads?” she teased.

“As soon as I can find a decent recipe for shortbread cookies,” Gabriel smirked as he pulled out the picture he was looking for. “Here we are. What do you think of this, _mi luna_?”

Jack took the picture and blinked down at it. In the picture were three Harris hawk chicks, each one marked with a different coloured band. Jack looked up at Gabriel in confusion before looking back down at the picture.

“I…I don’t understand,” he murmured.

“You still have your presenter’s license and your falconry certification,” Gabriel said. “It would be a shame to let it all go to waste, wouldn’t it?” Jack snapped his head up and gawked at Gabriel. “Those three beauties will be ready for adoption in about a month. Harris hawks are best for new trainers since they have a pack mentality to begin with. Reaper wasn’t exactly the best to teach you how to care for a bird so I don’t want to go get another owl for us to accidentally kill.”

“Gabe,” Jack whimpered and covered his mouth. “When did you…?”

“I have a lot of spare time when I’m not giving people the once over when they walk into Jesse’s bar,” he shrugged and smiled. “You like the idea, _mi rey_?”

Jack let out another whimper and nodded his head. Tears started streaking down his face and Gabriel knelt down to kiss them away. Daredevil pushed his nose against Jack’s cheek and huffed loudly, not pleased that his charge was crying. Jack cried harder, sandwiching himself against Gabriel’s chest and Daredevil’s bulk.

He probably shouldn’t have been so proud of himself for making his husband cry, but damn it, Gabriel was proud. He’d reduced his husband to tears from sheer joy and disbelief. He believed that was a step in the right direction for their relationship.

* * *

 

Jack tried not to feel nervous as he watched Gabriel set Daredevil up on his bed. He knew that the whole “consummation of their vows” was more a joke than anything, but the thought of sex was tying his stomach into knots. He hadn’t even touched himself sexually in four years. He hadn’t been able to; all it did was bring thoughts of Gabriel flooding to his mind and reduced him to a scream heap on the bed. They hadn’t even tried in the two weeks since Gabriel had been human; he’d been too scared and Gabriel was unsure if everything still worked properly. Apparently he’d had enough alone time to happily announce the night before that his plumbing still worked amazing and he didn’t have the endurance of a bird.

He wanted it badly though. He wanted Gabriel hilt deep inside of him, growling hungrily in Spanish. He wanted to feel Gabriel’s teeth against his neck and shoulders, wanted to feel his nails dragging over his hips as he claimed every inch of him. He wanted to feel heat spreading inside of him as Gabriel climaxed, driving himself in deep so that nothing seeped out.

“You’re blushing, _mi amor_ ,” Gabriel purred as he stood up. “What are you thinking about, my little golden boy?”

Jack smiled as heat spread over his ears. “You inside of me,” he whispered.

Gabriel let out a long trill of approval. “We’ll have to take it slow,” he smiled. “Oh, _mi amor_ , I know how much the thought of me hurt you. Come here and let me remind you how much I know your body.”

Jack stepped forward without hesitation, wrapping himself in Gabriel’s warm embrace. Gabriel’s hands rolled down his back, the powerful digits making his shiver as they pressed possessively against his skin. He shuddered under the touch, moaning as Gabriel’s wide palms settled on his ass and squeezed. Gabriel forced Jack’s hips up against his own until Jack stated humping on his own. He whimpered in pleasure, reaching up to wrap his arms around Gabriel’s neck.

“Don’t be afraid to scream,” Gabriel purred into his ear. “Jesse promised that we’d have the house to ourselves for the next few days. If we wanted.”

Jack cried out in pleasure as he felt Gabriel’s pants tenting against his stomach. He stuttered out a whimper, grinding his hips up against Gabriel’s erection before he dropped to his knees. He kissed and mouthed over the bulge, nuzzling it until Gabriel snarled in pleasure. Gabriel’s thick fingers fumbled with the fly before he let his jeans fall to the ground. His underwear strained to contain him and Jack moaned as he reached up to fondle between his husband’s legs.

“Please,” he moaned.

Gabriel pulled his underwear off, letting his impressive length tremble between them. Jack happily sucked it back in one gulp. Gabriel’s knees gave out from under him and he toppled to the ground with a loud grunt of surprise. Jack laughed as his husband’s cock was pulled out of his mouth, blushing more as Gabriel gave him a dazed look.

“Well, that went from zero to a hundred real fast,” he commented dryly before he fisted his cock. “And now it’s cold; how rude.”

“You’re the one that fell over like a tree,” Jack chuckled as he crawled between Gabriel’s impressive thighs and nuzzled his cheek against his husband’s cock. “Hardly my fault.”

“I wasn’t expecting you to shotgun it,” Gabriel laughed. “Fuck, Jack, you caught me off guard.”

“What can I say?” Jack shrugged as he felt his blush spreading down his chest. “I want your cock down my throat until I’m bloated on your cum.”

Gabriel’s eyes went wide and his face darkened. “Holy shit,” he hissed out. “Who are you and what have you done with my adorable vanilla bean?”

Jack covered his face and whined. “I thought that would be sexy!”

“It was!” Gabriel laughed as his hand rolled down Jack’s face to cup his chin. “Mmm, and how eager is my perfect golden boy for his big man’s cock?”

“Very eager,” Jack whispered as he lowered his hands. “May I?”

“Mmm,” Gabriel’s black eyes narrowed as he grinned. “Come on, _oro_ , show me what I’ve been missing out on.”

Jack smiled before nuzzling over the head of Gabriel’s cock. He glanced up at his husband’s face before swallowing him in one go, pushing down until his nose was buried in the soft hair just above the base of Gabriel’s cock. He trembled a little from the sensation, momentarily slipping into the past. He whimpered, closing his eyes as he felt Gabriel’s dead weight on his shoulders.

“Hey,” Gabriel’s gruff voice brought him back to the present. “Eyes on me, _mi amor_. Eyes on me.”

Jack smiled around the cock in his mouth before he started moving slowly. He kept his eyes on Gabriel until he was firmly rooted in the present. Then, he closed his eyes and focused on making his husband scream. He sucked and wrapped his tongue around the cock, dragging his teeth slowly up and down the shaft as he moved. He hollowed his cheeks, pausing at the tip long enough to lap lewdly at the slit. Gabriel was a panting, snarling mess by the time Jack felt his husband’s sack tremble under his hand.

He took half of Gabriel’s length into his mouth and waited for the involuntary snap of Gabriel’s hips as he climaxed. Hot seed splattered against his tongue and he swallowed greedily, rolling his tongue over the slit until Gabriel pushed him away with a breathless laugh.

“You are hornier than I remember,” he teased.

“It’s been four years,” Jack whispered as he crawled up Gabriel’s body and kissed him desperately. “Four years pining for you, Gabriel. _Mi sol_ , I don’t want to think about being away from you for so long ever again.”

“You won’t be,” Gabriel promised as he returned the kiss. “Let’s move to the bed, hmm?”

“Mmm,” Jack smiled as he pulled his husband to his feet. “Want me to strip for you?”

“Yes,” Gabriel growled as he dragged Jack over to the bed and sat down on the edge. “Right here, _mi rey_.”

Jack smiled as he slowly started rolling his hips, whistling softly as he unbuttoned his shirt as slowly as he could manage. He shucked himself out of the white shirt and moaned as Gabriel’s mouth closed over a nipple. He sucked hard, lavishing the delicate skin until it pebbled under his tongue. Gabriel’s black eyes twinkled with mischief before he gently pulled on the raised flesh with his teeth. Jack yelped and shook his head, covering his mouth and nose.

“Ow, ow,” he protested.

“No teeth, got it,” Gabriel apologized before he kissed the abused nipple and popped it back into his mouth.

Jack shuddered and moaned as his cock strained in his pants. He arched his hips, desperate for more attention as the pad of Gabriel’s thumb brushed feather-light against his other nipple. Thick fingers rolled down his chest, pressing gently on a number of bullet wounds. Jack shivered and bucked his hips, chewing on his lip as he tried to figure out if he wanted Gabriel to pull him out of his pants and tease him or just focus on suckling.

“Gabe,” he whimpered as he pushed his fingers into Gabriel’s salt-and-pepper curls. “I don’t….”

Gabriel glanced up at him and Jack made a flustered motion with his hands. Gabriel popped off of his nipple and rested his chin in the center of Jack’s chest.

“You don’t what, _mi luna_?” he asked.

“I don’t know if I want you to suck my cock or my nipple,” he blushed.

Gabriel smirked before he turned to shower his other nipple in attention. His tongue rolled up Jack’s pectoral and his eyes flashed dangerously. Jack tensed and moaned as he came hard in his jeans. He looked down at the wet stain spreading in the crotch and felt horribly embarrassed. Brought to completion in only a few minutes before Gabriel was suckling; how embarrassing.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“Jack,” Gabriel soothed as he reached up to pull Jack’s head down so they could kiss. “Ssh, it’s alright. Nothing wrong with showing your husband how happy he makes you. Mmm, now come on, Magic Jack, show me how well those hips can wiggle out of those tight jeans.”

Jack laughed as he took a step back and started rocking his hips again. Gabriel watched him eagerly, a long trill rolling off of his tongue as Jack slowly ran his hands down his body. He toyed with the button of his jeans, letting Gabriel’s eyes follow his fingers as he pulled one flap forward and the other back. The button slipped free and he slowly pulled the zipper of his fly down. His hips moved in a small circle before he pushed forward, rolling his jeans off of his hips.

Gabriel grabbed his half-hard cock and pumped until it was standing at full attention. He leaned back and beckoned Jack forward with a single finger. Jack walked forward and pressed his half-hard cock against his husband’s, underwear still in place. He smirked down at Gabriel as he wrapped his hands around both lengths and started to gently pump them.

“Yes,” Gabriel’s eyes flared with delight as he pushed Jack’s jeans down to his knees and let him kick them off. “There’s my gorgeous husband.”

Jack’s breath hitched and he covered his mouth. Tears burned in his eyes before he kissed Gabriel desperately.

“Say it again,” he begged.

“My gorgeous husband,” Gabriel purred into his ear.

Jack let out a soft sob before he kissed Gabriel more, forgetting about his strip tease as he pulled his underwear off and tossed them aside. He climbed onto Gabriel’s lap, ignoring the hot press of Gabriel’s cock against his ass as he unbuttoned his husband’s shirt and all but ripped it off of his wide shoulders. He dragged his hands over Gabriel’s shoulders before he pulled his husband’s face up to him.

“Please…please, can I…can I mount you?” he whispered.

Gabriel’s black eyes widened before he grinned. “Want me on my back or belly, _mi amor_?”

“I don’t know,” Jack admitted. “I want to see your face, but I want to rest against your back as I….” He blushed, unable to think of an erotic way to describe what he wanted to do. “Um…pump you full of seed?”

Gabriel let out a sharp snort of laughter. “We need to work on your dirty talk,” he teased before he kissed Jack again. “Lube should be in the nightstand.”

Jack checked and nodded as he pulled out the bottle. “You want to or…?”

“Want to watch?” Gabriel laughed as he offered his hand.

“Yes,” Jack giggled as he handed the bottle over.

Gabriel leaned back and covered his fingers in lubricant. He reached beneath him and moaned as he pushed a finger into himself. Jack watched in amazement as Gabriel pushed his finger in and out of himself, his eyes half-lidded as he added a second finger and scissored himself open.

“Enjoying the show?” he asked.

“Yes,” Jack whispered as he shifted forward. “Hand me the bottle.”

Gabriel pushed it towards him as he pushed a third finger into himself and stretched himself slowly. He tipped his head back and moaned, arching his hips as Jack covered his cock in lubricant. He shifted forward, kissing over Gabriel’s neck and shoulders.

“On your belly,” he murmured against Gabriel’s flesh.

Gabriel trilled as he rolled over and pushed his lube-slick backside up against Jack’s hips. He glanced over his shoulder and purred, arching his hips until Jack grabbed him and humped his roughly.

“Come on, baby,” Gabriel growled. “Show me what a good lover you are.”

Jack smiled as he reached down and guided himself into his husband’s tight heat. He gasped at the feel, whimpering as the walls rippled tightly around him. Gabriel arched into him, moaning into the pillow. Jack marvelled at the rippling muscles beneath his hands and splayed his fingers across Gabriel’s strong shoulders. He slowly started moving, his pace uneven and unsure.

Gabriel adjusted for him, changing their position just enough that Jack could thrust deeper without all the awkward shuffling. He found a good pace and kept it, panting as Gabriel seemed to squeeze and tighten around him with each passing minute. Finally, unable to hold himself together, he pushed in as deep as he could and climaxed.

Gabriel tightened painfully around him and snarled. Jack felt each spurt leave Gabriel’s cock as he slumped against his husband. He pulled out slowly, smiling down at the mess he’d made.

“Was that good for you?” he asked as Gabriel rolled over.

“Yes,” Gabriel purred as he reached up to run his knuckles over Jack’s cheek. “Mmm, I could get used to this side of you, _mi rey_.”

Jack smiled as he laced his fingers with Gabriel’s and nodded. “I could too,” he murmured. “You ready for me to ride you into the bed?”

“Always,” Gabriel grinned as he reached down to pump himself back to full attention. “Mmm, let’s soften up that amazing ass of yours first.”

Jack woke up sore in the morning. It was a pleasant soreness though, one he looked forward to having again and again. He rolled over and kissed across Gabriel’s chest and neck, grinning sheepishly at the lovebites covering his husband’s flesh. One of Gabriel’s black eyes opened and he smiled as he leaned in for a kiss.

“Mmm, we need a shower,” he said. “Or a really nice long dip in a hot tub. Mmm, forgot what being sore after a good fuck felt like.”

Jack returned the kiss and rolled Gabriel onto his back to hover over him. “Mmm, it is a little uncomfortable,” he purred before leaning his arms against the headboard. “Definitely worth it.”

Daredevil let out a long whine and Jack bolted off of his husband with a laugh. “Okay, boy! Come on, outside we go!”

He hurried out of the room pulling on a pair of pants as he went to let Daredevil out into the backyard so he could do his business. Gabriel joined him not long afterwards, a long black housecoat cinched around his hips. He smiled as he wrapped his arms around Jack’s chest and pulled him close. They watched Daredevil trot around the enormous backyard and Jack decided in that moment that all the pain he had suffered through all his life was worth it if he had Gabriel with him.

“Gabe,” he murmured as he reached up to wrap an arm around his husband’s neck. “I love you.”

“I love you too, _cariño_ ,” Gabriel smiled as he kissed Jack tenderly.

He brushed his nose over Jack’s cheek and softly started singing their song. Jack leaned back against his chest and smiled as tears ran down his face as his husband’s angelic voice rolled over him.

_“Fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars._

_Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars._

_In other words, hold my hand._

_In other words, darling kiss me._

_Fill my heart with song and let me sing forever more._

_In other words, please be true._

_In other words, I love you.”_  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end of Jack and Gabriel's story. Holy shit was this an amazing story to write. I want to thank everyone that has come back every update to read and leave comments and kudos. The support I've received for this story has blown my mind. It's amazing and I hope you keep coming back to read the rest of my work too. It means a lot to have all of you share this journey with me.
> 
> Hanzo and Genji's story will be a one-shot that I will have uploaded in a few days. If you thought Gabe's death was horrific, you aren't going to like Hanzo's. I didn't even really like thinking about it and I'm the one that Kali-ma-ed you all a few chapters ago.
> 
> Again, thank you all so much for your support!

**Author's Note:**

> The song featured heavily throughout the fic is "Fly Me To The Moon", particularly the version sang by Olivia Ong. It's a beautiful song and I love it to pieces, especially the slow way that she sings it as opposed to the well known way that Frank Sinatra sings it. Or, you know, the upbeat, you can totally dance to this, version found in Bayonnetta.


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